You're My Kryptonite
by randomklainer
Summary: Jyder, because I ship it. Follows Season 4, it will be mostly canon, except some of the Jarley/Ryley storylines.
1. Prologue

**So normally I write Klaine, but Jyder is my second favourite pairing and there aren't enough fics about them. This is my second attempt at writing this. The first one was so bad that I had to start this at the chapter where they get together and then work backwards. So I have a few chapters written already, but I'll post them gradually to allow myself time for writing more.**

**This story follows cannon for the most part, but I'll avoid actually including the scenes from the show. I guess when it deviates I'll try to let you know. At the moment, I have plans for up until Boys (and Girls) on Film, but hopefully I'll be able to extend it further as the season goes on.**

**Enjoy!**

Coach sends him to run laps the first time Ryder sees the guy. As he starts his second lap, he glances over towards the bleachers. He spies Marley up there, bouncing around as she sings with some guy. He tries to work out if he knows who it is. From this distance he isn't sure. As he gets closer, he realises he doesn't. But he's definitely curious as to who it could be. Almost feels like he wants to meet him.

A couple of days later, Ryder's able to put a name to the face. Jake Puckerman. He's definitely heard that name before. There are rumours flying everywhere about just how many girls Jake has been with. He's only been at the school for a few weeks, and he's already got a reputation for being a player. Suddenly, Ryder's curiosity has gone. He doesn't want to know Jake anymore, he doesn't want anything to do with him at all.

More than that though, he doesn't want Jake to have anything to do with Marley either. Not that he really knows Marley, but she's in a few of his classes. She seems super sweet and kind. He feels like he should keep an eye out for her. Her mother is looking out for him after all. So he kinda owes it to her. He doesn't want Jake taking advantage of her, in all her dewey-eyed innocence.

Xxx

Over the coming weeks, he does his best to watch out for Marley. Peeking over at her during class. Sneaking glances across the cafeteria. Trying to spot her in the hallways. He isn't really sure what this could achieve, but he feels like it helps anyway.

He also finds himself noticing Jake a lot more. He doesn't know how he does it, but somehow he always seems to know when Jake is nearby. He always manages to look up from his locker as Jake walks past. Or spot him the moment he enters the cafeteria. He's accidentally made eye contact with Jake far too many times, and he's pretty sure that Jake's starting to get suspicious. But at least Marley seems to be ok.

Xxx

After he auditions for Grease, he finally meets Marley. Turns out she's just as sweet and amazing as he'd always expected. He thinks she would make a great friend. But he notices that she flirts with him, so he can't help but wonder if maybe he should date her instead. It means he would be doing her a favour, keeping her away from Jake. And maybe in time he would develop feelings for her.

He also ends up meeting Jake. He doesn't really know him all that well, but it seems clear that Jake is a jerk. He doesn't respect women at all, and he's got some weird thing going on with that Kitty chick. Ryder doesn't trust him. Or really even like him in any form.

The way Jake glares at him, he thinks the feelings might be mutual.


	2. Dynamic Duets

Ryder is looking forward to his first glee club meeting.

Even if half the members are weirdoes who spend way too much time wearing superhero costumes.

Afterwards he can't help but feel a bit dubious. Finn's idea of a Foreigner theme seems a little odd.

Xxx

The second time he attends glee club, Finn assigns him to sing a duet with Jake. Now he really wonders whether he made the right choice in joining.

As he leaves, Jake approaches him in the hallway, tells Ryder they should just bail. It's a ridiculous idea, Ryder thinks. Sure, he may not want to work with Jake at all, but the actual assignment seems pretty cool. He's already put some thought into it, tuning out while someone performed, and he's decided on his superhero name.

The two of them stare each other down for a bit, waiting to see who will change their mind. Jake relents first. 'I'll pick the song,' he announces forcefully. 'We can learn it for ourselves and just wing the performance.'

'Anything to avoid spending time with you,' Ryder tells him.

'Yea,' Jake sneers in agreement. 'It would be a tragedy if I actually beat you up properly this time.'

Xxx

The moment that Jake's fist connects with his face, the music stops. Finn is quick to dismiss the rest of the group, hurrying them out the door. Marley lingers at the door a moment, worried, looking between the two.

As Finn leads them down the hall, Ryder begins to freak out. They're being taken to the principal's office. That's the only possible explanation. He's gonna get in a whole lot of trouble and it's all Jake's fault.

He glares over at Jake, who turns after a moment, as if feeling the heat burning from Ryder's eyes.

'This is all your fault,' Jake insists. 'I told you we shouldn't perform.'

Ryder is about to respond, but he's distracted by Finn stopping at the door to the auditorium. Well, that's a pleasant surprise. Or at least, he hopes it is.

Xxx

Ryder sits in front of the tv but doesn't pay it any attention. He's too busy thinking about Finn's kryptonite lesson. What the hell is he supposed to tell Jake? There's one obvious answer, the one thing that seems to affect every moment of his life. But there's no way he could go through with that. No, Jake would definitely use it against him. By the end of the day it would be around the whole school. Everyone would know how stupid he was. Everyone would judge him. Life wouldn't be bearable if he told Jake.

This is a ridiculous assignment. Why would he want to tell Jake about a weakness? Why should he have to tell Jake? He already had a whole arsenal of weapons to use against Ryder. By telling him this, he would just be giving him one more. Another piece of ammunition. And there is no doubting that this one is so much more powerful than anything Jake had so far.

A new thought occurs to Ryder. He would know Jake's kryptonite too. He would have something to use against Jake. So when Jake tells the whole school, Ryder could just return the favour. Or he could pre-empt him, do it first. Or he could use his piece of knowledge as blackmail, keep Jake from divulging his secret.

Ryder realises that he's looking forward to finding out Jake's weakness. To being able to hold something above Jake. But also, something that makes Jake seem less threatening.

Then again, Ryder thinks, Jake hadn't wanted to do the last assignment. There's even less chance that he'll want to go through with this one. Yup, he's pretty sure that Jake isn't going to tell him anything. And if that happens, then Ryder doesn't have to share anything either. It's a reassuring thought, and Ryder finds himself calming down instantly.

Xxx

Of course, Jake would surprise him and actually go through with the task, Ryder thinks as he plods through the halls. And of course, he'd forced something out of Ryder as well. Although, he hasn't heard any whispered rumours yet, no one is side eyeing him suspiciously. Maybe Jake hasn't told anyone yet. Maybe he's just saving it up.

Ryder is kinda surprised the effect that knowing Jake's weakness has had. His perspective of Jake has changed slightly. He'd always assumed that Jake thought he was too cool for friends, that he'd pushed them all away. But now it's clear that Jake desperately wants those friendships, wants to be liked. He can tell that Jake is hurt by the comments in the hallway, saddened by the fact that he doesn't belong. It makes Jake seem more human. Ryder can't help but feel sympathy for him, and he wonders if it kinda makes Jake likeable. Actually, under different circumstances, Ryder thinks they might have actually been friends.

As Ryder turns a corner, he spies Finn in the distance, waiting for him. He wonders what he wanted to see him for, and hopes that he hasn't set another assignment for him and Jake.

Xxx

Ryder can't believe that Jake told Finn about his weakness. At first, when Finn had explained it to him, he couldn't believe it because it felt like such a betrayal. Yea, so he had been expecting it to happen, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

But now he's had some time to think about it. The word 'dyslexia' has had some time to sink in. He realises this isn't such a bad thing, to have this knowledge. Actually, it's going to be handy. In time, he's going to be able to overcome it, work through it. He'll be able to improve his reading. With the right techniques in place, school won't continue to be so impossible.

It turns out that Jake actually did him a favour. He hadn't thought it possible, but he now realises that Jake had his best interests in mind. Jake was helping him out, which really doesn't fit in with the guy that Ryder knows. Maybe he'd been wrong about Jake all this time. Maybe Jake actually is a good guy. Maybe they'll actually be able to get along. Maybe Ryder could be the friend that Jake has been looking for.

Xxx

As Phil and Bobby and the rest of the jocks disperse, Ryder guides Jake over to an empty table.

'Look man, I think we need to talk,' he explains. 'We kinda got off on the wrong foot.'

Jake nods his agreement. 'Yea, you're right. And thanks for coming to my defence. It means a lot to know that someone has my back.'

'Of course,' Ryder tells him, waving it away. 'Um, I just wanted to apologise for misjudging you. Helping me out with the dyslexia thing, it made me realise that you're not the jerk I assumed you were.'

Jake pokes at a bit of potato. 'Turns out I was wrong about you too. Like seriously, Marley flirted with you, and I suddenly thought you were the worst person in the world.'

Ryder is about to comment when the girl herself arrives. 'Hey guys, what's going on?' she looks confused as she sits down.

'Can't two friends eat lunch together?' Ryder asks, glad that Marley gave him the chance to offer this olive branch.

'Yea but – Wait, are you two friends now?' She squeals in excitement. 'My two favourite guys are friends. Now we can finally be the Three Musketeers.'

'Seriously Marle?' Jake asks. 'You couldn't choose a cooler group to model ourselves after?'

'They're classic, Jake.'

'So are the Three Stooges,' he replies.

Ryder got lost by this conversation a long time ago. 'Wait, who are you talking about?'

Jake looks at him incredulously. 'Have you seriously never heard of the Three Stooges?' Ryder shakes his head. 'I'll have to send you some YouTube videos. And maybe at some stage the three of us can watch a couple of their movies.'

Xxx

Sam somehow organises for the glee club to do graffiti clean-up on the Sunday morning. Ryder, Jake and Marley all agree to go. It's fun, Ryder thinks, hanging out with his friends, chatting and laughing as they paint.

It gets a whole lot more fun when a paint fight breaks out. He's not sure, but he thinks that Marley might be the one who starts it, spattering a whole lot of paint on Jake. Ryder laughs, but at the same time the two of them are communicating silently, planning on ganging up on Marley together. As she turns around, Ryder dabs at her nose, cracking up as she goes cross-eyed trying to see it. At the same moment, Jake draws a smiley face on her back, which Ryder sees as she whirls back around. Ryder goes to flick paint at her, but she steps out of the way at the last minute, and he gets Jake instead.

Suddenly, they're no longer on the same team. They're fighting each other instead. They jab at each other with paintbrushes, rollers poised in their spare hands. Jake rolls a long line of paint up Ryder's front, and he counteracts by swiping down the side of Jake's face. It's fun, fighting like this, all the animosity gone. It's different, and now Ryder actually likes being this close to Jake. The adrenaline is pumping not from fear, but from enjoyment.

By the end, they are just using their hands, paint sliding along whatever exposed skin they can find. Ryder feels the slight stubble of Jake's jaw scrape against his palm, the flexing of a bicep as he slaps a handprint there. Caught in the exhilaration of the moment, every feeling is amplified.


	3. Thanksgiving

Ryder knows that his new friendship with Jake is shaky. Any small thing could disrupt the precarious understanding they've reached. When Jake tells him about his date with Marley, he can tell he's thinking the same thing. He's expecting Ryder to freak out at him for it, to spaz, for things to go back to the way they were.

But Ryder doesn't. After all, he knows it's Marley's choice about who she dates. Besides, he wasn't ever really all that interested in her anyway. He was just trying to protect her from Jake and his womanizing ways. But Ryder has to admit that he trusts Jake now, so he doesn't worry about Marley dating him.

So why is part of him so against the idea then?

'Hey, sorry about that,' Mike calls over to Ryder as he re-enters the classroom. Ryder looks up, emerging from the thoughts that were distracting him while Mike was talking to Tina in the hallway. By their heated tones, Ryder guessed they were either arguing or confessing their undying love for each other.

'Nah, that's ok,' he replies. 'I mean, girls, what can you do?'

Mike nods in agreement, thinking for a moment. 'Speaking of girls, how are things going with Marley?'

'They're not,' Ryder replies, slightly confused.

Mike seems even more confused. 'But I thought you were dating. I – I could've sworn I saw you kissing backstage.'

'Oh yea,' Ryder agrees, 'that happened. But she's seeing Jake now.'

'Wow, that's underhand,' Mike responds. 'I mean, I always knew Jake was a tool, but stealing Marley out from right under you?'

Ryder shakes his head, tries to set things straight. 'No, it's really not like that. Jake's actually a pretty cool guy. And it was completely Marley's decision. I guess her and I just weren't meant to be.'

Mike looks at him sceptically. 'Why aren't you cut up about this? Last I heard, you and Jake hated each other.'

'Yea we did, but we're friends now. Turns out that fighting over Marley was a waste of time.'

Mike still doesn't seem convinced. 'Look, dude, all I'm saying is that I don't trust the guy. You need to be careful.'

Ryder thinks for a moment, tries to work out how to respond without overreacting. 'Look, Mike, I appreciate your advice, but I think I've got it sussed. Jake's a completely different guy from what he first seems.'

'Well, if you're sure,' Mike shrugs. 'So, what girl do you have your eye on, then?'

Xxx

Ryder glances over at Jake as they watch the Gangnam Style clip through for a third time. He's grateful for his help, because there is no way he would have been able to master this dance on his own. He just hopes that Jake's teaching will be able to make a difference. But as he remembers the way Jake had been dancing just moments before, he has suspicions that it'll make all the difference. He still can't believe that Jake threw the competition just for some silly joke he made.

As the clip comes to an end, Jake turns to face him, straddles the bench in an exact mirror of Ryder's. 'So are you ready to give the dancing another go?' he asks, leaning forwards. Ryder can't help but notice how close their knees are, the way they brush together slightly.

'I really think I'd be better learning the words first,' he insists, not willing to make any more of a fool of himself.

'Ah, right, of course,' Jake laughs, 'apple pies and all.' Ryder laughs along with him, but he can't stop an unwanted image of Jake flashing through his mind. He shakes his head, tries to clear it of thoughts of pies.

'Alright, fine,' he agrees reluctantly, 'teach me your secret ways then.'

Jake grins broadly in response, standing up and holding out his hands. Ryder takes them, lets himself be pulled up. Jake leads him back to the mirror where they stand side-by-side.

'Just try and follow my moves,' Jake tells him, before counting them in. Ryder watches him in the mirror and tries to copy him, but he feels so unco. And he can feel Jake watching him in return.

They work for a while, stopping occasionally for Jake to give him pointers. Ryder thinks he's actually making progress. Eventually though, he's too tired, and he collapses back down on the bench. Jake looks over at him in amusement.

'I can't dance anymore,' he explains between heaving breaths. 'But you keep going. I might be able to pick up some tips from watching you.'

Jake thinks about it for a moment before picking the music player up, and plugging it into his ears. After a moment, he starts to dance.

Ryder can't take his eyes off him. Okay, he knew that Jake was a good dancer, and he'd seen him dance over the past hour, but this is something else. There is something about it, the physicality of it, that just draws him in. He briefly wonders if it's weird, for a straight guy to be ogling his friend like this, but he quickly ignores that thought. He's too caught up in the fluid movements, the way Jake feels the music.

All too soon the dancing stops. Ryder sits for a moment, just continues to watch him. Eventually he speaks. 'You're really good, dude.'

'Thanks,' Jake manages to pant out.

'So you say you take ballet?' Ryder continues, trying to find any excuse for Jake to keep dancing. 'You should show me one of the dances you've learnt in class.'

Jake looks surprised. 'Are you sure? It's kinda different.'

'Yea, I'm curious now. Besides if it's too terrible I can always stop you.' Jake doesn't look too convinced, but after a moment he starts dancing anyway. And Ryder thought he was good before, but this is something else. He's never seen a guy move so gracefully before, so light on his feet. If he's being honest, there's almost a kind of beauty to Jake's movements. It feels like he's seeing another side to Jake, a side that not many people ever get to see.

As he comes to a finish, Jake turns back to him. 'What did you think?' he asks.

'Yea, it was alright,' Ryder replies, just as the bell rings. As they gather up their stuff, Jake clips him around the back of the head, and suddenly everything is back to normal.

Xxx

It's a couple of days before Sectionals, and Ryder and Marley are both around at Jake's house. He's decided that they both need a break from their preparations, and has also decided that this is the perfect opportunity for them to watch their Three Stooges movies.

As they enter the house, Jake ushers them into the lounge, while heading towards another door. 'I'm just gonna organise some snacks,' he explains.

Ryder looks around the room, takes in the peeling wallpaper and worn carpet. He chooses an armchair to sit in, overstuffed and comfy, while Marley sits on the couch. Jake returns, arms laden with a bowl of chips and cans of drink.

'Let's get this show on the road,' he announces, settling down on the couch next to Marley.

The movie begins, and Ryder is quickly engrossed. But as he watches, he can hear Jake and Marley having quiet conversations in the background. They're probably just talking about the movie, but he can't actually make out what they're saying. He can't help but feel a little left out. Especially when he notices the way they're snuggled into each other.

As he looks back at them, Marley turns her head, making eye contact. 'You look lonely, Ryder.' He shrugs it off, but she's shifting in her seat, closer to Jake as she continues. 'Come sit here, there's plenty of room for all three of us.'

Ryder shakes his head, determined to just shake it off, but now Jake's joining in as well. 'Seriously dude, it feels like you're miles away. And Marley's only getting half my jokes. So move your ass already.'

Ryder obeys, squishing onto the end of the couch next to Marley. It's better sitting there, he has to agree. He can finally hear what they're talking about, mostly Jake making cracks, but also explaining some of the history of the movie. He no longer feels like a third wheel, able to throw in an occasional quip, or ask questions about something that doesn't make sense.

Towards the end of the first movie, Marley falls asleep on Jake's shoulder. As the two of them start the next movie, they are able to talk across her, conversation gradually building. Soon, the movie is just background noise, and they've somehow started a discussion about their favourite Avengers characters.

Ryder doesn't think he's ever enjoyed a movie marathon more.

Xxx

Ryder stands in front of his mirror, practising the moves one last time. Sectionals is tomorrow, and it's nearly bedtime. He finally feels like he's got the dance moves down completely now. But it still doesn't mean that he's any good at them. It just doesn't quite look right. Not in the way it does when Jake is the one dancing.

Ryder knows that he should get Jake to take over the lead. He is so much better at this dance. And well, considering how Ryder reacted to his dancing, there's no telling what the girls in the audience will think. Since they would actually be attracted to Jake and everything.

But when he'd tried to convince Jake to take over the other day, Jake had been insistent. Does that mean that he'll be stuck doing the lead? The thought kinda makes him worried, a nervous twisting deep in his stomach.

'Ryder, you should be in bed,' he hears his father call up the stairs. Unwillingly he obeys, but he's pretty sure it'll take forever for him to get to sleep.


	4. Swan Song

'I feel so bad,' Marley mumbles, head in her hands. The three of them are spending Black Friday together, hanging out at a local park.

'Hey, it's not your fault,' Jake tells her, seated next to her, hand on her shoulder.

'Yes, it is. If I'd just eaten, I never would have passed out. We would've won Sectionals.' Ryder thinks he hears a sob.

Jake wraps an arm around her protectively. 'No, don't put this on yourself. If anyone's to blame, it's Kitty. She's the one that talked you into this. She's the reason you have this eating disorder. None of this is your fault. Okay?'

Marley looks up, apprehensive, searching Jake's eyes. 'Really?'

'Yes, Marle,' he tells her, hand cupping her cheek. 'You are amazing. Never forget that.' Marley buries her face in Jake's shoulder.

Ryder can't help but feel that he's intruding on a private moment. He's never seen Jake be so gentle and caring before. He can't help but wish that someone would do that for him, treat him like that. Which is ridiculous, as a guy he's the one that should be acting like that. Protective, caring, reassuring. So why did he want to be on the receiving end? More to the point, part of him feels like it's Jake he wants to experience that with.

The thought disturbs him. He's straight, how could the idea even cross his mind? But he can't help but wonder if maybe he actually likes Jake. It seems ridiculous, but the thought is definitely there. He thinks it through. He loves hanging out with Jake, they get on so well. He can admit that Jake is good looking, and there was definitely something about the physicality of watching him dance. And now, this latest insight. All these things, coupled together, it definitely seems like something.

Ryder feels himself being jostled, looking up to see Jake standing over him. 'We're gonna go get lunch. You coming?' Ryder gets to his feet, pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind. He'll deal with them later.

Xxx

Ryder leans against a locker, waiting for Jake, who's foraging through his own. 'I can't believe glee club's pretty much over,' he tells Jake, watching as he throws books back in. 'I've only been part of it for a couple of weeks.'

'Yea it totally sucks,' Jake agrees, shutting his locker. 'I actually enjoyed being part of a group.'

Ryder shoves him lightly. 'You? But you're like a lone wolf.'

'Yea, guess not anymore. Actually, I was thinking about joining a new club.' Ryder gestures for him to continue. 'I saw a sign-up sheet for basketball. Was thinking about trying out.'

'That would be cool,' Ryder agrees, as they reach their classroom. 'We should try out together.'

Jake looks at him curiously. 'Dude, you're already part of the football team. Why do you need another group?'

Ryder thinks for a moment, tries to find an excuse. The reality is that he doesn't have a reason, not one to tell Jake anyway. He just wants to spend more time with Jake. Because he's starting to think that he might be crushing on him. He's been thinking about it a lot. And it kinda weirds him out still, but he can't block the thought from his mind. Can't force himself to get over his feelings.

Before Ryder can reply, the teacher begins speaking, starting the lesson. Jake glances over at him, sharing a secret joke at her expense. But as Jake turns back, Ryder doesn't, continuing to watch him. He shouldn't, he knows he shouldn't, and usually he manages not to, but he really can't help himself. He notices the way Jake's brow furrows in concentration, his lip catches between his teeth. It's an innocent gesture, just Jake trying to focus, but it makes Ryder's mind race. Makes him think about kissing Jake, which really should disturb him more than it does. Makes him wonder what those lips would feel like pressed up against his.

Suddenly, Jake's turning back to him, catches him staring and Ryder feels himself flush red. 'Dude,' Jake calls, eyes darting towards the teacher, who Ryder finally realises is calling on him.

'For the third time, Ryder,' she shrills, 'will you please read from the top of page 269.' It's mean, it's so mean, that she's making him do this. She knows that he struggles with reading, she'd agreed not to make him read aloud. And yet here he was, battling through each word, some kind of cruel punishment for getting distracted by his best friend.

His best friend, who was sitting there watching him, silently encouraging him, whispering the occasional word when he got too stuck. His best friend who hadn't freaked out about his admiring. His best friend who was always there for him. As he finished the passage, he sent a grateful smile to Jake, who sent a thumbs up in return before pointing forwards, a silent reminder to pay attention.

Xxx

Ryder sits on his bed, legs pulled up under him, ring binder on his lap. Jake is slouched down on his desk chair. They've been studying together for over an hour.

'This is useless,' Ryder announces eventually, throwing his notes to the side.

Jake looks up from the desk, where his notes are sitting. 'What's going on?' he asks, concern evident in his voice.

'It's just so hard,' Ryder explains. 'It takes so much effort just to read over everything. And I mean, I know I'm making progress, but still. It really sucks.'

'Yea,' Jake agrees, his tone subdued. He falls into silence, and Ryder wonders if he's lost in thought. Eventually he speaks up. 'Y'know, I've been thinking. When you told me about this, it was a pretty big deal. You were putting a lot on the line.'

Ryder nods his agreement. 'I've never had a bigger secret.' Well, maybe now he did. 'I was so convinced I was stupid, that I was worthless. Seriously, dude, I owe you so much for what you did.'

'No, I was just doing what any friend would do,' Jake explains. 'But anyway, I've been thinking. What I told you, it was a bit of a nothing. So I feel like I need to fix it, tell you what my real kryptonite is. Now that I've admitted it to myself.'

'You don't have to do that.'

'No, I want to,' Jake explains. 'See, the thing is, I – I'm bisexual.' Ryder feels his heart rate pick up. 'I've kinda known for ages, but I didn't want it to be true. I tried to block it out, force it away. That's why I dated so many girls. Try to screw the gay out of me.'

Ryder's hooked into the story. Wants to know more. 'Well, what changed?' he asks.

Jake thinks for a moment. 'I dunno. I think it might be getting to know Blaine. Before him, I hadn't actually met a gay person. I was scared about who I might become. But Blaine's a pretty cool guy. So, I dunno, I guess I've accepted the idea that I could end up falling for a guy.'

Ryder nods in response, tries to think of what he should say. But before he can say anything, his mom's calling them down for dinner. As he climbs off the bed, Jake grabs him by the arm.

'Look, I know this is a bit of a shock. I'll get it if you don't want to be friends anymore.' Jake's trying to sound brave, but Ryder can see the uncertainty in his eyes.

'Are you serious?' he asks. 'Is that the reason you told me? Of course I'll still be friends with you. I'm not that much of a jerk.' He wraps an arm roughly around Jake's neck, trying not to cross any boundaries, and drags him out the door.

All through dinner, Ryder's distracted by Jake's news. He's trying desperately not to get his hopes up. Okay, sure, Jake being bi greatly improves Ryder's chances compared to him being straight. But that doesn't mean he's interested in Ryder. Besides, he has something going on with Marley. And anyway, has Ryder even accepted that he has a crush on Jake?

He has to admit that he definitely has.

'Ryder.' Jake's calling to him, he really needs to stop zoning out. 'Come on, we've got to go. Otherwise we're gonna be late for this glee club meeting.'

They hurry towards the door, eager to see what it'll be like to meet outdoors.

'Don't forget your coat, Ryder,' his mother calls after him. 'It's just started to snow.'


	5. Glee, Actually

**I tweaked one of Jake's lines slightly so that this chapter could happen. So technically it's not canon.**

'I really hate the holiday season,' Jake announces as he takes a mouthful of food. Ryder is sitting with him and Marley in the cafeteria, as he does every day.

'Really?' Ryder can't understand the concept. 'But Christmas is awesome!'

'Yea, maybe for you,' Jake agrees. 'But for me, it's like, what the hell am I actually meant to celebrate? Christmas like everyone else? Or Kwanza? Or Hanukah? It's got to the point where we've just given up doing anything. Especially since we can't really afford it now.'

'I know that feeling,' Marley sympathises. 'I really don't think we're gonna be able to celebrate at all this year. I have no money for a present for Mom. I've spent the past week trying to work out what I could make for her. So yea, Christmas kinda sucks.'

Ryder hasn't ever really thought about it like that before. Christmas had always been his favourite time of the year. Getting presents, spending time with family. He's never realised how hard it could be for others. It seems weird that his two best friends don't have good experiences with Christmas. He promises himself that he'll get them both awesome presents.

'So, Ryder,' Marley turns to him, 'what're your plans for Christmas?'

Ryder can't help but feel guilty as he answers, knowing how different his holidays are going to be. 'I – um –I'm going to Fort Lauderdale,' he tells them.

'Lucky,' Jake and Marley both chorus. 'I wish I could go,' Jake adds.

'Actually,' Ryder continues, 'my parents said I could bring a friend. So you're more than welcome to come. Sorry, Marls, but there's no way they'd let me bring a girl.'

'That's okay,' Marley responds demurely.

'Wait, dude, are you serious?' Jake asks. 'That would be so awesome. . . But I can't go. There's no way I'd be able to afford it.'

'Don't be ridiculous,' Ryder tells him. 'My parents will pay. Seriously. They'll just be thrilled that I won't be hanging off their coat tails the whole time.'

Jake thinks for a moment. 'Okay, then. I'd love to go. Thanks man.' He gets up from the table, tray in hand. Ryder watches him leave, lets himself stare. Admiring him, the way he tries not to when Jake's watching. It's only then that he realises what he's done. He's going to be spending a week with Jake, a week straight. Every minute of the day, heck, they'll probably even be sharing a room. And there's no denying the fact that they'll be spending long hours on the beach, where Jake will undoubtedly be shirtless. Ryder doesn't know how he'll cope. Doesn't know how he'll get through without acting on his desires. Because already that's getting hard. Too often he has to restrain himself from just kissing Jake. Too often he catches himself gazing at him in class. And he's currently only seeing Jake for a couple of hours a day.

This was gonna be one long vacation.

Xxx

'Thank you again Dr and Mrs Lynn,' Jake tells them as the four of them enter their rented apartment. It seems weird, Ryder thinks, hearing his dad referred to as Dr. But then again it's still a fairly new title.

'Really Jake, you're welcome,' Ryder's mother tells him. 'You don't have to keep mentioning it.' That's what Ryder has been telling him as well, but even still Jake continues.

The two of them lug their baggage to the far bedroom, dropping it all in the doorway. Ryder takes a running jump for one of the beds. 'I dibs this one,' he calls.

'Why do you get the view?' Jake mumbles in reply. He climbs onto the end of Ryder's bed, leaning against the window to peer out. 'Dude, check it out. You can see the beach from here.'

Ryder watches the excitement on Jake's face. It's different, he thinks, to see him showing such enthusiasm about something. Usually he's so focussed on portraying complete disinterest. Curious as to what could cause this change in Jake, he tries to sit up, struggling to do so.

'Here,' there's a hand shoved in his face, 'let me help you.' He takes Jake's hand, strong and warm in his own. He marvels at the black against white, at the way that they fit so well together. He's so distracted by his thoughts that he tugs a little too hard on Jake's hand. Instead of being pulled up towards Jake, Jake is pulled down towards him, landing on his chest.

He wants to take a moment to savour the feeling, but he knows that Jake is probably freaking out. 'Oh shit, I'm sorry Jake. Are you okay?' Jake just laughs in reply, rolling to the side until he's lying on the mattress next to Ryder.

'I'm fine,' he replies eventually, leaning up on one arm. 'Tell you what though. Let's go check out the beach quickly before dinner. See whether you can have any more luck injuring me there.'

Xxx

Ryder rolls over onto his back, trying to get comfortable on the beach chair. It's their second full day of vacation, the second day he and Jake have spent on the beach while his parents visited the museums and other tourist spots. It turns out that Ryder was right about how hard this trip would be. Spending whole days where Jake is just wearing his short red shorts is really testing Ryder's self-restraint. He's eternally grateful for the invention of sunglasses though. The fact that they allow him to admire Jake's body without him realising.

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Jake move, and lazily turns his head. 'I'm too hot,' Jake tells him, and Ryder has to hold back from commenting. 'Wanna come for a swim?'

Ryder rolls out of his chair, all lazy limbs from the heat. He pulls off his sunglasses, blinking in the glaring light. Jake's laughing at his sleepy nature. Well, Ryder will teach him not to mock. He takes off along the hot sand, turning to call over his shoulder, 'Race you there.'

He can hear Jake racing along behind him, beginning to make up ground as Ryder splashes into the sea. As the water reaches his waist, Jake finally catches up and tackles him, both of them ending up underwater. As they surface, they continue to roughhouse, splashing and pushing, no real menace in it. It reminds Ryder of when they first met, those first fights they'd had, which had so much more intent behind them. Back then, although he hadn't really realised it, he'd craved a closeness with Jake where he wouldn't have to fight to protect himself. Now, he notices, he has that, but it's still not really enough. Sure, physical contact like this is accepted, but there are boundaries that they can't cross, boundaries that Ryder knows he wants to cross.

'You fight like a girl,' Jake taunts, as he bounces around out of arms' reach. Ryder lunges for him, misses, and Jake easily grabs him in a head lock. 'I win,' he announces, letting go. Ryder holds his hands up in surrender, leaning back to float on his back. Moments later, Jake joins him and they stay like that for a while, hands occasionally brushing arms as they work to keep themselves afloat.

'We should go back in,' Ryder suggests eventually, 'I can feel myself burning.'

When they make it back, they towel off and Ryder slips a shirt on – too lazy to apply that much sunblock, before settling back into their chairs. A silence falls over them, easy as always, but Ryder finds that he feels like talking.

'How are things going with Marley?' he asks, nonchalantly, staring up into the clear blue sky.

'It's going really well,' Jake responds. 'She's pretty amazing. I mean, you know that, but actually dating her, it's like – wow.' Ryder hums in agreement, slightly sad that Jake seems so happy with her. 'Shit, I'm sorry man,' Jake continues. 'That wasn't cool. I always forget you have a thing for her.'

Ryder thinks for a moment before replying, not wanting to say too much. 'No it's okay. I've moved on.'

Jake catches on quickly. 'Moved on, eh? Who's the lucky girl?'

Ryder doesn't reply directly, just mutters under his breath. 'That's a big assumption.'

'Wait, what?' Jakes asks, sitting up. Apparently Ryder wasn't quiet enough. 'You like a guy? Who is it?'

Ryder turns his head to the side, away from Jake, not wanting to reply. There was no way that he was going to tell Jake about his crush.

'Ryder,' the voice is soft. 'You can tell me. I get it. I'm bi, remember?' Ryder still doesn't say anything. 'Actually, if I'm being honest, there's a guy I kinda like as well.'

Ryder turns his head back sharply, trying not to get his hopes up. 'But you're dating Marley?'

'Yea, and I like her a lot,' Jake agrees. 'But this guy, I think I might like him even more. The thing is though, I always thought he was straight.'

Ryder feels his breath catch in his throat, hope definitely rising now. Jake gets up from his own beach chair, takes the half step over to Ryder's, kneels on the edge. Ryder can't keep his eyes off him, stares up at him, into those deep, brown eyes which stare back into his. He's suddenly glad that he never put his sunglasses back on.

'Please, Ryder,' Jake's voice is barely above a whisper. 'You have to tell me who it is. I don't want to make a fool of myself.'

Not saying anything in response, Ryder just reaches out a tentative hand, rests it gently on Jake's side, thumb caressing over his stomach. It seems this is all Jake needs, because the next moment his arm is on Ryder's shoulder, around the back of his neck, and his whole body is inching ever closer. He seals his lips over Ryder's.

Ryder has never kissed a guy before. Before Jake, he'd never even considered wanting to. But kissing Jake is simply amazing. His lips are chapped, the taste of the sea strong on them. The kiss is gentle, loving, but he can feel a masculine power behind it. Jake's other hand is in his hair, and Ryder wraps his spare hand around Jake's back, pulling him closer. He can feel the warmth radiating from Jake's chest through his own shirt. He sucks against Jake's bottom lip, pulls it into his mouth, causing Jake to give a low moan. Feeling emboldened, he gathers the courage to try using his tongue.

Just as he decides this, he hears a loud wolf whistle. Jake pulls away from him abruptly, holds himself up with the arm at Ryder's neck. Ryder cracks open his eyes, wants to glare at whoever interrupted him. But he's distracted by the sight of Jake, smiling shyly down at him.

'That was – wow,' Jake says eventually.

Ryder places a kiss on his nose. 'What can I say?' he replies in explanation, running his hands up and down Jake's sides. 'You're my kryptonite.'

Jake laughs in response, lowering himself down beside Ryder to snuggle against him. They wrap their arms around each other protectively. 'Y'know, if you told me that when Finn set the lesson, we could have been doing this for ages.'

'I think we were too busy focussing on Marley,' Ryder replies. He stiffens as a thought strikes him. 'Wait, you're dating Marley, I totally just made you a cheater.'

Jake rubs a hand over his chest, reassuringly. 'No you didn't. Marley and I have just been on a few dates. That's all. Nothing official.'

'Ah, right, of course. You're not the monogamous type,' Ryder's heart clenches painfully. He doesn't know how Marley copes with this.

'Normally,' Jake agrees. 'But for you I could make an exception. Ryder Lynn, will you be my boyfriend?'

Xxx

That night, Ryder can't sleep. He doesn't know if it's the heat or the butterflies he gets every time he thinks of Jake. He glances over at the boy in question, who is tossing and turning.

'Jake,' he whispers softly. The movement immediately stops, Jake peering out from beneath his sheet. 'Can't you sleep either?' A shake of the head, and Ryder daringly slips out of bed, crossing the room to slip in next to Jake.

'Hey,' Jake whispers, smiling broadly as he wraps an arm around Ryder. They lie like that for a while, snuggled together, heads sharing the same pillow. Suddenly, Jake speaks. 'Are you gonna tell your parents about us?'

'No,' Ryder replies, almost too quickly, before continuing. 'It's just, I've barely realised that I'm not straight. I'm not ready to come out to anyone yet, especially not them. Besides, I don't want them imposing a whole lot of rules on us.'

Jake nods in agreement. 'Yea, that would suck. And for the record, I'm not ready to come out to anyone yet either.'

'It'll be our little secret.'

Xxx

The morning of day four, they're at breakfast, a free buffet that was part of the deal.

'So what do you two have planned for today?' Ryder asks his parents. So far, it hasn't been anything interesting, but he figures it would still be polite to ask.

'We're going to a military museum,' his father replies.

'Oh, that sounds cool,' Jake enthuses. Suddenly, Ryder's dad is explaining the museum to the both of them in great detail. Jake is fascinated, and Ryder has to admit it does sound pretty interesting.

Ryder's parents excuse themselves for another helping. As they leave, Jake turns to Ryder, looking excited. 'We should totally go with them.'

'Are you kidding?' Ryder asks. 'Do you know how much reading you have to do at a museum? We'll be there forever.'

Suddenly, Jake's hand is on his knee, reassuring yet subtle, hidden by the table. 'It'll be okay,' he promises. 'I'll read it all aloud for you. And that way, you'll get to listen to my sexy voice all day.'

Ryder is touched, thankful that Jake is willing to do this for him. Sure, Jake may already have helped him study a lot, but this seems like more. Ryder hasn't ever thought anyone would be bothered to go to that much trouble for him. He has the overwhelming urge to kiss Jake, but he can see his parents approaching. Instead, he just places his hand over Jake's, laces their fingers together and squeezes gently.

Xxx

Jake and Ryder stand side-by-side in front of a display board, shoulders brushing. Jake reads in a hushed whisper, not wanting to disturb the other visitors, and Ryder is glad for the excuse to stand close to him. Sure, his parents may be upset that he isn't putting the effort in himself, but at least their behaviour hasn't raised any other questions.

As Jake finishes reading, he slips his hand into Ryder's, pulling him gently towards the next display. Ryder looks around wildly, tries to drop Jake's hand, but Jake is holding too tightly.

'Your parents are miles behind us,' he explains. 'They're reading every detail; we're just doing the highlights package.' Ryder feels himself relax, allows himself to lean into Jake's warmth. Jake smiles down at him, leaning forward to kiss his forehead, before turning to point out a picture.

Ryder smiles, watches Jake jabbering away excitedly. This has to be the best holiday he's ever been on. It's funny to think that he'd been freaking out about going. Now, for exactly the same reason, things couldn't have turned out more perfect. The day after tomorrow, they'll be going home, back to Lima. Ryder will be bringing back a tan, a few souvenirs. But best of all, he'll be bringing back a boyfriend.


	6. Sadie Hawkins

Jake and Ryder are walking home from school together, fingertips brushing occasionally as their hands swing back and forth.

'Did you hear there's gonna be a Sadie Hawkins dance?' Jake asks.

'Yea, a couple of guys were talking about it in the locker room.' They're quiet for a moment, and all Ryder can think about is how much he wants to hold Jake's hand. But he can't. They're on a suburban street in Lima, and there's no telling how people would react.

He turns as Jake runs a finger lightly down his forearm. 'I wish I could take you to the dance, Ryder.'

'Yea,' Ryder huffs out in agreement. 'Sucks that only the girls can do the asking.'

Jake stops in his tracks, and moments later Ryder turns back to him. 'Let's make an agreement that if no one asks us, we'll secretly go together.'

'Oh, babe, you do realise that Marley's guaranteed to ask you, right?' Jake pouts, but he starts walking again.

'It's the thought that counts though, right?'

At that moment, they arrive at Ryder's house and are quick to get in the front door. Jake has to get home soon, but they want the chance to actually be able to say goodbye to each other. Besides, Ryder's barely been able to even hug Jake today. So once the door is closed behind them, they instantly have their arms wrapped around each other, for the moment just taking the opportunity to be close.

He buries his face in Jake's shoulder, takes a moment to inhale his strong, masculine scent. He feels Jake nuzzle against his ear; nose slightly cold from the walk home. As he begins to talk, it tickles the shell of Ryder's ear.

'What if we just rejected any girls who ask us? Then we could still go together.'

Ryder thinks for a moment, before pulling back to look up at Jake. 'I don't know I could turn someone down.'

'True,' Jake agrees after a moment. 'I guess I'll just have to hope that no girls realise how awesomely amazing my boyfriend is.' He pulls Ryder closer as he says it, possessive. It causes a warm feeling in his chest, and he leans forward to kiss along Jake's jawline. Jake tilts his head up, giving better access. They both get lost in it, even more so when Jake turns to capture Ryder's lips in a kiss.

Minutes later, Jake pulls away, out of breath and dishevelled. 'I – I need to be going.' Reluctantly, Ryder agrees, giving him one final kiss before he leaves. He watches as Jake walks down the path, wondering when they'll next get a moment together.

Xxx

Ryder looks up as Jake sinks down into the seat next to him. He's in the library, trying to get some study done for an upcoming test.

'I guess you realise I've already got a date for the dance?' Jake asks, his smile warm.

'It would've been hard to miss,' Ryder agrees as he closes his book. 'You'll be glad to know I've got one too. Celeste.'

'Neck brace girl?' Ryder nods in reply. 'Well, I've had two girls ask me. Does that mean I'm winning?'

'Is it a competition now?' Ryder asks, nudging him lightly.

Jake laughs in response but quickly turns serious. 'Do you think we'll find a way to hang out while we're there? Pretend we are going together?'

Ryder lets his knee rest against Jake's, trying to reassure him. 'I'm sure we'll work something out, babe.'

Xxx

Ryder and Jake sit opposite each other at a table at Breadstix, their dates next to them. Ryder still isn't sure how they managed it, but the two of them somehow convinced Marley and Celeste that they should all get dinner together before the dance.

Ryder can't get over how hot Jake looks in his suit. He finds himself tuning out from whatever Celeste is talking about as he finds himself getting distracted. Sure, Celeste seems like a nice girl, and she might even have something interesting to say, but Ryder much prefers his boyfriend.

'So, what you're saying,' Jake's voice snaps him out of his trance, 'is that everyone should have a pet duck?' So, Ryder may have only come in on the end of the conversation, but he's pretty sure this is proof that Celeste really doesn't have anything interesting to say. She's just another real-life version of the stereotypical cheerleader. While he's amused that Jake is actually making an effort to talk to her, Ryder just lets himself zone out again.

He toes off a shoe, thankful that he's sitting at the far end of the booth, hidden from view. He lets his foot rest against Jake's ankle, laughing internally at the way his breath hitches in surprise. As he begins an innocent game of footsie, he turns to Marley, intent on not spending the whole evening being completely distracted.

Xxx

Somehow, Ryder has been given the task of singing the final song for the dance, in all its soppy, romantic slowness. Not that he really minds. Because otherwise he would have been dancing with Celeste, who has already tried to kiss him twice this evening.

As he sings, Ryder looks around the room, watches all the couples dancing. He can't help but feel a little sad that he's not dancing as well. Because he really wants to be able to slow dance with Jake.

He catches sight of Jake amongst the crowd, holding Marley close and turning slowly. As he continues to sing, he keeps his eyes fixed on Jake, watches him. Sings to him. As Jake completes a turn, he looks up, eyes locking with Ryder's. Subtly, he stops his turning, instead just swaying on the spot.

Throughout the song, Ryder continues to watch Jake. He probably shouldn't, it's probably too obvious, but he doesn't really care. Everyone knows that he was interested in Marley, they can just assume that he's staring at her. Every now and again, Jake looks up at him, smiles softly. They stare intently at each other for a few minutes, and then Jake looks away again.

It's not much, but it's better than nothing.

Xxx

After the dance, Ryder gives Celeste, Jake and Marley a ride home. He stops at Celeste's house first, getting out to walk her to the door, since it's the gentlemanly thing to do.

When they reach her front porch, Celeste stands there bouncing on her toes, giggling. 'So I was thinking, since I'm a hot cheerleader, and you're a hot jock, we should totally become an item.'

Ryder stands there for a moment, looking at her, trying to make sense. Hadn't he rebuffed her enough times this evening? 'I – I don't think that's a good idea, Celeste.'

'Why not?' she asks. 'Is it my neck brace?'

And suddenly things get a bit awkward. 'No, no, definitely not. It's just – I'm just interested in someone else.'

'Well, why didn't you go to the dance with her then?' Celeste looks genuinely confused.

'She went with someone else.' It's not entirely true, but nevertheless it still hurts a little to say it.

Celeste seems to think about this for a moment, before speaking. 'Y'know what? I could do so much better than you anyway.' At that, she wrenches open her front door, enters without even saying goodbye.

As he re-enters the car, Jake leans forward, concerned. 'Are you ok, buddy?' A reassuring hand on his shoulder.

'I think I just got dumped,' Ryder replies as he pulls away from the curb.

'Oh, no,' Marley leans forward now too. 'Ryder, I'm so sorry.'

'No, I'm fine. It' fine,' he promises. Jake claps him on the shoulder one final time before sitting back again.

Moments later, they arrive at Marley's house, and Ryder waits in the car while Jake walks her to the door. He tries not to watch, tries to ignore the fact that Jake can't avoid giving her a peck goodnight.

When Jake hops back in the car, his hand immediately finds Ryder's on the gear shift. 'I'm sorry about that,' he tells him.

'No, it's fine,' Ryder tells him, slightly less truthful this time. 'Really, it's fine.'

Jake's hand tightens over his. 'I don't really believe you. But that's ok, I'll make it up to you.' Ryder knows what the implications of that comment are.

'You don't have to get home right away?'

'Not for a while,' Jake replies, before falling quiet for a moment. 'Y'know, I really wish I could have danced with you tonight.'

Ryder looks across at him, surprised. 'Me too.'

They sit in silence for a while, before Jake suddenly speaks up. 'I've had an idea. Can you drive us to that park round the corner from my place?' Ryder agrees, curious as to why they're going there.

When they arrive, Jake pulls Ryder's iPod out of the glove box, getting out of the car and ushering Ryder out as well. He leads Ryder over to a line of trees, in amongst the shadows.

'What're we doing?' Ryder asks, nerves building.

Jake ignores him, just hands him one ear bud. 'Here.' Ryder puts it in, catches the faint strains of an orchestra. Jake is grinning broadly at him. 'May I have this dance?'

Ryder smiles in response, takes Jake's outstretched hand, places his right hand on Jake's shoulder. They get lost in the music, in each other. Foreheads touching, they sway together. Their breaths intermingle, and Ryder swears he can feel Jake's heart beating against his chest. They transition through a few different songs, and Ryder is just starting to think he could dance like this forever. Suddenly, the song changes again though, and this time it's dubstep. The two of them break away from each other, laughing.

'I don't think we can slow dance to this,' Jake observes.

Ryder laughs along with him. 'No. Thank you though. That was amazing.' As he says it, he shivers a little. Jake notices.

'Come on, we should get back to the car.' He grabs Ryder by the hand, drags him along as he hurries back.

Remembering something, Ryder gives a little tug on Jake's hand. 'Hey, don't forget you owe me a kiss.'

'Just the one?'

As they reach the car, Ryder can't help but hope that his curfew isn't for a while yet.

**To clarify, the final conversation between Jake and Marley (during I Only Have Eyes for You) didn't take place in this fic. So Marley asked Jake to consider, but he hasn't got back to her.**


	7. Naked

**So, Jake and Marley do sing A Thousand Years in this, but afterwards Jake rebuffs her when she tries to kiss him, and then he runs off. That is probably the last of the Jarley/Ryley scenes that will be included in this fic. So it's about to get noncanon. That means in future chapters there won't necessarily be much storyline to follow so I'll get to make it up for myself. I will, however, try to fit it in with the idea of the episode (ie next chapter there will be some diva behaviour).**

**I also just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has favourited, followed or reviewed this story. It means a lot, and feedback is always useful. So if you want to give me feedback about storylines, characterisation, writing style, or whatever, I will appreciate it, so long as it's said nicely.**

As much as the girls are excited about the calendar, Ryder has to admit that he is pretty excited as well. He hasn't had a chance to see Jake shirtless since their holiday. From the way that Jake winks at him, Ryder can tell he's thinking the same thing too.

It's fun, hanging out with the rest of the guys as they prepare for the photo shoot. He hasn't really had a chance to hang out with them properly since Grease. But at the same time, it's so, so hard, being around Jake. Because he's so hot, and so exposed, and so there, but Ryder can't do anything about it. He can't even touch Jake, not even in the most innocent of bros ways, too paranoid that someone will see through him.

He knows that Jake is struggling with it just as much. He knows, because suddenly they've explored every nook in the school, trying to find some privacy. So far, their best option is under the bleachers in the gym. It's handy to the locker room, and when the temptation gets too much, it's so easy to sneak off without raising suspicion.

Everyone is convinced that Jake is going through family troubles. A few times during broga, or while doing weights circuits, and even once while Sam's droning on about something, he receives a phone call from his mother. A few minutes later, Ryder excuses himself as well, wanting to go check that Jake's ok. It's been emotional for him, this thing that's going on.

The moment he's away from the others, he's hurrying off to the gym, checking around to ensure no one's following. Jake's always there, waiting for him under the bleachers. They stretch their time out as much as they can; just wanting to touch and hold and kiss for as long as possible. When they figure they can't possibly prolong it any longer, they return, Jake looking forlorn while Ryder pats him on the back reassuringly.

It's risky, Ryder knows it's risky, and he's kinda surprised that no one's caught on yet. But he figures it's a better option than making out with Jake in the middle of a crowded locker room. Because as far as he's concerned, that's the only other alternative.

Xxx

Ryder is pumping iron in the locker room, trying to do some last minute prep when he hears someone come barging through the door. He looks up to see Jake, worried look on his face, hurrying over.

'Shit, dude,' Jake hisses, 'I'm in serious trouble. Marley fully just tried to kiss me. What do I do?'

Ryder glances around the room. A few people are watching them with curious eyes. He just hopes they're out of earshot. 'You're gonna have to tell her the truth, Jake.'

'What, but – ' Jake tries to speak, but Ryder just gives a subtle shake of his head. Jake gets the message.

'Do you wanna come for a run with me? Help clear your head.' Jake nods his agreement, hurries off to get changed.

Soon, they're out on the empty track, beginning their first lap, away from prying eyes.

'So, Marley tried to kiss you?' Ryder prompts. 'How did that even happen?'

'She wanted to practise this song with me. And it's kinda romantic, and I kinda got too into the performance. And when the song finished, she just tried to lay one on me.' Ryder can hear Jake getting worked up.

Ryder thinks for a moment, tries to work out the best way to phrase this. 'Okay, but how did it get to this point? What happened that made her think she had a shot?'

Jake almost looks guilty. 'At the dance, she asked me to consider becoming official, but gave me time to think about it. I never got back to her, but I guess she took that as acceptance.' Ryder doesn't reply, doesn't know how, and they continue to jog in silence for a few minutes. 'I've really lead her on, haven't I?' Jake asks eventually.

Ryder heaves out a sigh. 'Yea, you have.'

'Shit, this is bad. And you really think we have to tell her about us? I'm not ready for that.'

'I'm not ready either, but we don't have a choice. Otherwise, you're gonna leave her heartbroken. Or you would be cheating on me.'

Jake thinks about this. 'I guess you're right,' he eventually concedes.

Ryder slows to a stop, reaches out a hand to stop Jake as well. 'Look, I know this sucks babe. I know neither of us are ready to deal with the consequences of coming out. But it might not be that bad. We only have to tell Marley, no one else needs to know. I'm sure she'll be accepting. We won't need to worry about judgement or rejection or bullying.'

Jake nods in reply, but doesn't say anything. Ryder figures he needs time to think it through. Heck, he still needs to come to terms with it too. They continue running. A lap and a half later, Jake finally speaks.

'Y'know, it'll make things easier, not having this secret wanting to burst out. Having someone else to finally talk to about this.'

'Yea,' Ryder agrees, mind still running. 'And she is our best friend, we do kinda owe it to her.'

Jake laughs, a weak sound between his panting breaths. 'She's gonna be mad we didn't tell her sooner, isn't she?'

Xxx

After glee practise a few days later, Jake and Ryder corner Marley. They've left it a few days so they can both fully prepare themselves to tell her.

She looks wary as they approach. She's been avoiding Jake lately, and she's clearly concerned about what's happening.

Jake's the first to speak. 'Marley, I need to talk to you.' She looks unconvinced, unwilling to comply.

'Actually,' Ryder clarifies, 'we both need to talk to you.' At this, she grudgingly agrees. The three of them seat themselves on the risers again. Now that everyone's left, they figure it's a safe enough place to talk. Although Ryder still feels uneasy.

'I'm sorry about the other day,' Jake begins. 'And I just wanted to explain what happened.'

When Marley speaks, her eyes are bright with tears. 'You'd better have a good explanation. The way you fled; you really hurt me, Jake.'

'I know,' he replies, tone soft and genuine. Ryder can't help but reach out and rub his shoulder reassuringly. 'I know I've led you on really bad, but I can't be with you Marle. See the thing is, I'm with someone else.'

Ryder notices the way she slowly surveys the two of them. She takes in Ryder's hand still resting on Jake's shoulder. The way Jake glances over at Ryder with a gentleness in his eyes. They're just reaching out to take each other's hands when she speaks.

'You two are dating, aren't you?' Ryder feels himself grin at the way she says this, the way he can hear the acceptance in her voice.

'Yea,' Jake replies, wrapping Ryder's hand in both of his. 'Are you – what are you thinking?'

Marley thinks for a moment. 'I don't know, it's kinda surprising. When did it happen?'

'In Fort Lauderdale,' Ryder tells her.

He hears a sharp intake of breath. 'Guys, that's quite a while. How come you never told me sooner?'

'We haven't told anyone Marls. We can't deal with that yet. But we kinda realised we couldn't keep it secret from you anymore.'

Jake continues. 'You can't tell anyone though. Please.'

'Of course not,' she promises. She stands up, pulling them both into a hug. 'I want you to know I'm happy for you. Both of you.'

'So you're not mad?' Jake asks, and Ryder can hear his nervousness.

'Not as much anymore,' she admits. 'At least you had a good excuse for blowing me off.' Ryder can't help but pull them both closer at this.

A few moments later, Marley continues speaking. 'I do wish you'd told me sooner though.'

Ryder and Jake share a knowing look, unable to help it when they burst out laughing.

Xxx

It's Jake's turn to pose for the photo shoot, and Ryder can't bring himself to look away. He finds himself staring as Brittany begins taking pictures.

Marley jabs him sharply in the side with her elbow. She's assigned herself to keep an eye on them, wanting to ensure they don't give themselves away. Apparently Ryder was being a little bit too obvious.

'So,' she whispers conspiratorially, 'I'm guessing you've got a new favourite holiday?'

He groans in agreement. 'Why does October have to be so far away?'

He thinks she's about to reply, but at that moment Tina arrives next to them and the conversation quickly ends.

As she sits down on the bench, she turns to Marley. 'So, your boyfriend's doing a pretty good job of this.'

'He's not my boyfriend,' she mutters in reply.

Tina seems confused. 'Really? I could have sworn you two were dating.'

'Yea, we were, but we decided we were better as friends. We wanted different things from the relationship.' It's the explanation they'd all agreed on, and Marley's delivered it well.

Ryder thinks Tina responds to this, probably some sort of condolences. But he's not really sure because he's a little distracted.

Jake's just started flexing his biceps.


	8. DIVA

**Sorry this took me a little longer to get out than usual.**

**I've just upped the rating of this story to T. In this chapter there will be some boy kisses, it's not particularly explicit but it's about as explicit as I get. It also won't be the last of the T rated stuff in this story.**

**I hope this chapter isn't too weird. I wanted there to be a bit of diva behaviour in this chapter. But I also borrowed another character's storyline from the episode. Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think.**

Ryder is curled up against Jake, arms wrapped around his middle and chin resting on his shoulder. They're lying on Jake's bed, enjoying the peace and quiet of his house while his mom is working the dinner shift.

'I've missed you,' Ryder whispers as he noses along Jake's jaw.

Jake tilts his head down, a confused look on his face. 'What do you mean? We've been together all day.'

'I know,' Ryder sighs, licking at Jake's adams apple. It's true, they spent most of the school day in each other's company and then spent the afternoon working on homework. 'But this is the first chance we've had to act like we're together.'

'You're right,' Jake agrees around a soft moan. Ryder pulls away to let him speak. 'We need more us time. Like, a date, this weekend.'

Ryder places soft kisses to Jake's neck, just enjoying the softness of his skin. 'What did you have in mind?'

'There's a-a football game this Saturday.' Ryder notices the way Jake's breath hitches as he places a kiss against his collarbone. He starts to suck there as he thinks over Jake's offer. He pulls back abruptly, to a whine of protest from Jake, and sits up.

'What about a date weekend? We could go for dinner, watch some movies, play Xbox.'

Jake reaches a hand up to card it through Ryder's hair. 'Playing Xbox isn't very romantic, dude.'

'What if it was just an excuse to hide away?' Ryder leans down at this, placing a kiss on Jake's lips. A preview, he thinks. The hand that isn't tangled in Ryder's hair reaches up, pressure on his lower back causing him to collapse onto Jake.

'Sounds good,' Jake mumbles against his lips. His hand finds its way up the back of Ryder's shirt, palm hot against his spine. Ryder gasps into the kiss, pulling away slightly as he fumbles with the hem of Jake's shirt. He slips his hands underneath, allowing them to roam across the muscled chest. Jake has now attached his lips to Ryder's neck, and he can feel him sucking a hickey there. He dimly thinks he should stop it, but he's lost the ability to speak, only able to gasp wordlessly.

Eventually, Jake pulls away, head turned to the side as he glances at his alarm clock. 'Mom will probably be home soon.' Ryder glances across as well, sees she's not expected for at least another half hour. But, as he turns back, he places a kiss to Jake's temple, rolling off to lie beside him. It's for the best, he thinks as he tangles his hand with Jake's. He was so close to crossing boundaries they had unspokenly agreed not to cross, especially when there was a very real risk of them being discovered.

Jake reaches his spare hand across, using it to stroke at the mark on Ryder's neck. 'Shit, sorry about that. You're gonna have to wear a scarf.' Ryder just hums in agreement, too happy to really care.

Xxx

'So, dinner at Breadstix after the game?' Jake asks. They're discussing their plans for the weekend while they wait for glee club to start.

'Yup,' Ryder agrees, 'and then we could maybe go to the movies. There's that new action flick that just came out.'

Jake nods his approval, but doesn't speak for a few moments. 'Are people gonna get suspicious if they see us spending so much time together?'

'I don't think so. We can just say we're having a bro day. And then on Sunday, we can hang out at mine, so it's not like anyone will see us then.'

Jake's about to speak when Marley arrives, marching directly over to them. 'So, I've got awesome plans for the three of us this weekend.'

Ryder clears his throat awkwardly. 'Um, we've actually already got plans, sorry Marles.'

'I don't care,' she tells him. 'This is gonna be so much better. We're gonna have an absolutely amazing Saturday.'

'Saturday?' Ryder asks, glancing quickly over at Jake. 'Can't we do Sunday? We were gonna go to a game.'

'No, it's not open Sunday. So pick me up at midday, ok?' She walks away to go sit with Unique.

Ryder isn't very happy with the outcome and, when he speaks, it seems Jake isn't either. 'How did we not manage to get out of that?'

'Well, you didn't actually say anything, babe. That could have made a difference.'

'No, I would've just agreed with her from the get go. Kinda feel like I owe it to her.' Ryder nods in agreement, that's kinda how he feels too.

Xxx

'Marley, will you please tell us why we're outside an op shop,' Jake asks as they climb out of the car.

'Well,' she replies, 'I need some new clothes, and who better to help me than my two favourite boys.'

Ryder can think of a lot of people who would be better for this. And at the top of the list is Unique. He goes to say this, but instead he's overtaken by a coughing fit.

Jake's by his side in an instant. 'Shit, Ryder, are you ok?'

'I think I'm getting sick,' he replies between coughs.

Jake seems worried, hand hovering by his elbow. 'Do you wanna go home?' he asks.

'No,' Marley interjects, 'he'll be fine. Now come on, it's time to shop up a storm.'

Xxx

Marley's on her fourth round of trying on clothes. The shop is absolutely massive, and she's looking through every single item. Ryder can tell that Jake isn't enjoying himself, and he really isn't either. The fact that he's starting to feel really unwell isn't helping either. He'd woken up with a sore throat this morning, and he'd been coughing for a while as well. But now his whole head feels like it's congested, and it's making it really hard to focus on anything.

As the two of them hover awkwardly by the changing rooms, Marley emerges in a skirt and blouse. She does a little twirl, as she does every time, holding her arms out questioningly.

'Yea, it's nice,' Jake mumbles without enthusiasm. Ryder just nods his agreement.

'That's what you've said about every outfit,' Marley complains. 'Can't you give me better feedback?'

'Not really,' Jake admits with a shrug of his shoulders. 'I'm not sure if you've noticed, but we don't actually know anything about fashion.' Ryder feels like he should probably say something as well, but it feels like too much effort.

Marley seems confused. 'But – but, this is meant to be the best part of having two gay best friends. Doing all this fun stuff together.'

'Whoa, whoa, hold up,' Jake barely even lets her finished. 'Firstly, we're still the same guys we always were. We still like sports, and action movies, and Xbox. The fact that we like guys doesn't magically change our entire identities.'

'Oh,' Marley seems contrite.

'And secondly, we're not actually gay. I'm bi, and Ryder he's, well he's – ' They've never discussed this before, and Ryder figures he'll have to explain himself.

'I don't know what I am. I like girls, and I like Jake. So I don't know if I'm bi, or pansexual, or what.'

'Oh, right.' For a moment it seems like that's all she can say. But then she continues. 'Shit, I've really messed this up.'

'No, no it's fine Marley,' Jake tells her, but she doesn't seem to believe him.

She stands there for a moment, just taking them in. 'Why don't you go back to the car? I'll just finish here, and then I'll meet you there.'

Ryder doesn't need any more encouragement, and he's out the door with Jake on his heels. When they're safely in the car, Jake strokes a hand over Ryder's leg.

'Are you ok? You've barely talked all day.'

When Ryder talks, even he can hear how sick he sounds. 'I'm not feeling well. I think this flu is getting worse.'

Jake squeezes his leg soothingly, waiting several moments before he continues to speak. 'We could probably make it for the second half of the game if you want.'

'I think I'd rather just go home,' Ryder tells him, smiling gently. 'Have a quiet afternoon.'

Marley arrives at that moment, bag in hand and clambers into the backseat. 'I'm so sorry, guys. I totally ruined your plans. That was so selfish of me, making you do what I wanted.'

'Yea,' Ryder agrees absentmindedly. He's glad that Jake volunteered to drive; he can barely concentrate on anything.

Marley leans forward, a worried look on her face, and thrusts a hand against Ryder's forehead. 'Oh, Ryder, you're burning up. I can't believe I made you stay. You should be tucked up in bed.'

Xxx

When the two of them make it to Ryder's house, Jake supports him up to his room, helping him to settle down on his bed. 'Where are your parents?' he can't help but ask.

'They're away,' Ryder explains as he leans back against his headboard.

Jake sits at the end of the bed, and starts taking off Ryder's shoes. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Wanna surprise you.' Ryder lets his eyes slip closed. Moments later he feels a kiss pressed to his forehead. He hums out his appreciation.

'I'm gonna put a movie on for you. And then I'll find you some medication. Ok baby?'

Ryder battles to open his eyes, blearily looks up at where Jake is hovering over him. 'Nah. Wanna play Xbox.'

Jake cups a hand over Ryder's cheek, calloused thumb running over it. 'Not a good idea, baby. You need to rest.' He places a final kiss to Ryder's cheek. A few minutes later the opening music for Spiderman 3 blares out. Ryder thinks he remembers leaving it out on his desk.

It seems like no time has passed when he feels the bed dip next to him. Jake has a handful of medications, which he gradually works his way through, helping Ryder to take them. Finally, he places a small container in Ryder's hand, closing his fingers over it. Ryder tilts his wrist up, recognises the VapoRub container, before letting his hand drop back down. It's too much effort.

'Come on, Ryder. You need to put some on. Help you breathe easier.'

Ryder just thrusts his hand out, crashing it against Jake's leg. 'You do it.'

Jake takes the container, looking concerned. 'Are you sure?' Ryder just nods. He feels Jake lean towards him, carefully undoing the buttons on his shirt. He gasps a little as he feels how cold the VapoRub is against his chest. Jake rubs gentle little circles into his skin, and Ryder can't help but moan a little at the touch. Coupled with the immediate relief, it feels amazing.

Jake rests against the headboard next to him, shoulder pressed against Ryder's. Ryder lets himself turn into Jake, head resting against Jake's chest and arms wrapped around his waist. Jake winds an arm around Ryder in return, pulling him closer, and dragging a blanket up over them. He nestles his cheek in Ryder's hair, whispering a final few words.

'Sleep well, baby.'


	9. I Do

Ryder and Jake are walking through the halls of McKinley, on their way between classes. Their shoulders knock occasionally, the result of an overcrowded corridor.

'I'm so excited about Mr Schue's wedding,' Jake announces, bouncing slightly. 'It's gonna be so much fun.'

Ryder is more subdued. 'I dunno. I'm not sure I'm going.'

Jake slows at this, enthusiasm quickly disappearing. 'What? No, you have to come.'

'I don't really know him though. I'd feel kinda awkward about the whole thing.'

Jake glances around at this, taking in the masses of people, before shoving Ryder towards an empty classroom. When they're both perched on desks, Jake resumes the conversation. 'Do you – would you maybe go as my date?'

'But – '

'We could pretend we're both accompanying Marley.' Ryder doesn't reply, doesn't say anything. He notices that Jake's starting to look a little shy, almost nervous. 'I was – I, ah, thought that maybe we could get a hotel room for the night.'

'Yea?' Ryder asks, just to buy time. He tries to think, tries to work through it. They haven't talked about this before. And they've always had to be cautious, hesitant to do too much in their own homes where there's always a risk that someone could come home. But Ryder wants this, he really does. And clearly Jake does too. 'Yea, ok then.'

He hears Jake let out a big huff of breath. 'Yea, really?' He slips off his desk, leaning forward to pull Ryder into a hug. 'Ok, great.'

Xxx

Ryder paces back and forth across the stage, anxious. Jake should be here by now. Where is he? Ryder told him to meet in the auditorium so he could give him the first of his Valentine's Week gifts. Is he going to come?

Ryder hears footsteps, looking up to see Jake reach the edge of the stage. 'Hey babe,' he breathes, nervous. He takes Jake by the shoulders, guiding him over to the edge of the stage, into the wings.

'Hey, what's going on?' Jake tries to ask, but Ryder just shushes him. He returns to his place on the stage, starting the music and beginning to sing. He watches Jake as he sings, taking in all his expressions. Enchanted, amused, pleased. And something else. Loving, maybe?

As the song comes to an end, Ryder walks back to Jake. 'Happy Valentines,' he whispers, hand coming up to caress Jake's face.

'That was amazing,' Jake tells him, before leaning forward to capture Ryder's lips in a kiss. It's sweet and simple, but Ryder can feel so much emotion in the kiss. When they pull away they lean their foreheads together.

'I really wanted to serenade you in class,' Ryder explains. 'But this was the best I could do.'

'It was perfect, Ryder. Truly.' They kiss again, more to it this time, their tongues exploring. Ryder gets lost in it, almost forgetting that he's at school. He can't help but feel glad they're hidden away, out of view of any prying eyes. They don't break away until the bell goes ten minutes later.

Xxx

Ryder sits on the edge of his bed, nervous. Why is it that suddenly everything about Jake is making him nervous?

Jake is lying on the floor, chin propped in his hand as he works through his maths textbook. Today is a study session, and Ryder's mom is downstairs, working from home. In these situations, the two of them always seem to keep their distance, hardly daring to even touch each other.

Ryder is fidgeting, tangling and retangling his fingers as he glances over to his bedside table. Picturing the gift-wrapped present sitting inside, waiting.

He hears Jake move. He's kneeling now, leaning on Ryder's knees and looking up at him with concern in his eyes. 'Ryder, baby, are you ok?'

'Yea, yea, I – ' He breaks off and leans over to the drawer, pulling the box out and handing it to Jake. 'This is for you.'

'Why?'

'For Valentine's Day.' He smiles, but he can feel his lips twitching nervously.

Jake seems confused. 'But you already got me that song.'

'I know,' Ryder explains, 'but I wanted to make this Valentine's Week. So you're getting more than one present.' Jake still doesn't seem sure, so Ryder taps at the present. 'Open it.'

Jake does, ripping the paper before popping open the box. Inside, there is a silver bracelet, simple and masculine. It's been engraved, the words 'You're My Kryptonite' bright on the inner side. It's cheesy, Ryder knows that, but he wanted something that was uniquely them. Something no one else would have. And this definitely fits the bill.

Jake looks up, smile blinding, as he runs his finger across the engraving. 'Ryder. I love it.' But just as quickly, his smile fades.

'Jake, what's wrong?' He slides off the bed so that they're sitting opposite each other, knees pressed up hard against ankles.

'I just feel really bad,' Jake tells him, 'because I haven't gotten you anything. I'm not good at this romance thing. Not like you.'

Ryder pulls Jake closer to him, just wanting to hold him, to comfort him. Jake pretty much ends up in his lap. 'That's ok,' Ryder whispers earnestly. 'I have you. I don't need anything else. And besides, I like doing this for you.'

'Really?' Jake whispers in reply. Ryder nods. 'You're amazing.'

Xxx

When Ryder and Marley arrive at the wedding, they find Jake waiting for them in the foyer. Ryder had offered him a ride, but he insisted he could get one with Puck.

'Nice flower,' Jake calls as they approach. Ryder glances down at the boutonniere he is wearing, a single red rose.

'Yea, um, about that,' Ryder replies, removing a small box from an inside pocket. 'Happy Valentine's Day, babe.'

'Aw, you got me one too?' Jake's tone is still teasing, but Ryder can see that he's curious.

'Yea, well, I wanted to get you flowers. But I decided this was more appropriate. And this way, Marley's two dates kinda match.'

'Mm, yes, that's true,' Jake agrees noncommittally, but even still, it's clear that he's pleased.

Marley just rolls her eyes, steering the both of them in to find their seats.

Xxx

Ryder is really enjoying the not-reception. Spending time with his friends, laughing and dancing. He even gets to dance with Jake, sort of. They have to be careful to keep their distance, but it's still great. It's even better when they manage to drag Marley along with them because it means they can let go that little bit more. Although when Ryder hears Puck muttering about triads, he can't help but think they may have gone a little too far.

The reception hall has emptied out considerably when Marley tells them she's leaving. They walk her to the entrance, where her mom is waiting. After they've seen the two off, Jake turns to him.

'Shall we – shall we, um – '

'Yea,' Ryder agrees. He's been looking forward to this all evening, an uncomfortable mixture of nerves and excitement thrumming through him. For the last hour, he'd been willing Marley to go home. And now, it's finally time.

They wait patiently for the elevator, falling into each other's arms the moment they are safely behind closed doors. Ryder slips his arms inside Jake's jacket, relishing the closeness. It's more than they've had all evening, but nothing compared to the intimacy they're about to share.

When the elevator dings open, they pull apart. Jake leads the way down the corridor and into their room. They stand there watching each other, energy pulsing through the room. Ryder's nervous, unsure what to do.

'I have to go pee,' Jake tells him, and the mood is suddenly broken. Ryder paces nervously while he waits.

When Jake returns, he's stripped down, wearing only love heart boxers that look strangely familiar. He's carrying a teddy, the words 'I love you beary much' across its front. It has a red ribbon tied around its neck, and there's a matching one around Jake's wrist.

'Happy Valentine's Day,' he tells Ryder, the teddy bear getting squished for a moment as he leans in for a kiss.

'I thought you weren't very good at romance?' Ryder asks, running his fingers through the bear's fur.

'I'm not. But he was too cute to pass up.'

Ryder places the bear on a table, facing the wall (wouldn't want him watching) before returning to Jake. He plucks at the ribbon on his wrist. 'What's this for?

'Well, you said all you wanted was me,' Jake explains, looking kind of sheepish. 'So that's what your other present is. Me. In whatever way you want me.'

Ryder feels a swooping feeling low in his stomach at this. His mind is filled with images, and he can't help but crash his mouth against Jake's. The kiss is hungry, urgent, and as it goes on, he can feel Jake begin to undress him. Jacket, then tie, then shirt.

As he teases at the waistband of Jake's boxers, he can feel his whole body burning with desire. This is going to be one long, amazing night.

**I hope you enjoyed, and that romantic Ryder wasn't too sickly sweet for you.**

**I'm curious to know whether there is anything that you want to be included in this fic. Let me know your thoughts. Eg Do you want them coming out to their parents? (Also how do you think their parents would react?)**


	10. Girls (and Boys) on Film

Jake and Ryder are snuggled under a sheet, sweaty and sated. Ryder's parents are away for the weekend again, and Ryder has invited Jake to stay over.

He isn't sure how long they've been laying here, hands running lazily over each other. About half an hour, he thinks but it's hard to tell. Time moves differently when Jake's around.

Ryder looks up as Jake smooths his hair out of his face. 'We should watch a movie.'

'The Hangover?' Ryder asks. They'd been talking about seeing it.

Jake thinks about it for a moment, fingers tracing the contours of Ryder's cheekbone. 'Nah. Maybe a romance? I'm in the mood for something lovey-dovey.'

'I'll see what I can find.'

He gives Jake a quick peck before rolling out of bed, not even bothering to find underwear. He can feel Jake's gaze on him, and he wiggles his hips a little, trying to ignore any feelings of embarrassment.

When he returns with a DVD from the family collection, Jake is sitting up against the headboard, waiting for him.

'I found one called Ghost,' he explains as he grabs his laptop from the desk. Jake nods his approval, and Ryder crawls up the bed to sit between his legs. They rearrange themselves, Ryder's back pressed solidly against Jake's chest, the laptop sitting on his lap. Jake's arms are wrapped loosely around his waist.

As the movie loads, Ryder can feel Jake twitch feebly against him. Jake leans forward to whisper darkly in his ear. 'If I wasn't so exhausted, I'd be suggesting round two about now.'

Ryder glances back towards him. 'Maybe after the movie, babe.'

Xxx

The New Directions guys are all around at Artie's house, gathered to have a movie night. When they're all settled in the lounge, he calls for their attention.

'So, I was thinking our mash-up should be a tribute to the greatest actor of all time. Tom Cruise.' There's a general outcry at this, everyone disputing his judgement. Eventually he gets their attention back. 'Anyway, I was thinking we could watch Risky Business and Top Gun.'

As they prepare to watch the first movie, Joe realises he's going to have to move to be able to see the screen. He approaches the couch where Ryder and Jake are sitting, pointing to the space between them.

'Can I sit there?'

'NO!' They both chorus. Joe seems shocked, and the others are looking over, curious.

Jake shuffles closer to Ryder, patting the now empty space. 'You can sit here though, dude.'

Ryder is glad for the excuse to sit close to Jake. Their thighs are now pressed firmly together. As the movie progresses, he grips at Jake's forearm. It's the closest he can get to holding his hand, the slight PDA hidden by their bodies.

A while later, Jake pulls himself off of the couch, and Ryder watches as he goes to pour himself a drink. Without thinking about it, he calls out to him. 'Babe, can you pour me one too?'

Everyone turns to stare at him, and he wants to sink into the floor. He doesn't know what to say, how to react. Fortunately, Jake comes to his rescue. 'It's an in-joke,' he explains.

Everyone seems to accept this explanation, at least enough to go back to watching the movie. During dinner, Jake and Ryder do their best to avoid each other, and for the second movie they make sure not to sit together. No use in raising people's suspicions any further.

Xxx

The boys are all in the locker room, getting changed for their mash-up. Ryder is trying to button his shirt, but he's a little distracted. Jake's putting his socks on and he keeps losing his balance, bending right over as his shirt rides up. Ryder's given the perfect view and he can't look away, can't stop staring. Which could be an issue, as his mind is being flooded with ideas, and his underwear isn't about to hide anything.

He hears a sharp cough from beside him, and he turns to see Sam assessing the scene, eyebrow raised. Ryder flushes red, embarrassed at having been caught out.

He goes back to buttoning his shirt, until Jake's voice stops him. 'Dude, you've buttoned it all wrong.' He closes the gap between them, reaching out to gently undo the buttons, before redoing them correctly. Ryder just watches him, and occasionally he glances up, sharing a shy smile before continuing.

Everyone's ready now, but as they all leave the locker room, Ryder feels someone grabbing his arm, holding him back. He turns to see Blaine standing there.

'I hope I'm not intruding, but I've noticed the way you've been acting around Jake lately.'

Ryder tries to play it cool. 'I don't know what you mean.'

'It kinda seems like you have a thing for him.'

Ryder surveys Blaine for a moment, trying to decide whether he can trust him. 'Yea, well, um, I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I'm kind of trying to decide whether I should come out.'

'Yea, that's a tough one,' Blaine sympathises. 'In Ohio, you're gonna get a lot of shit about it. It really sucks, but everyone's so close-minded round here. Not like in glee club. That's the good thing about New Directions, you can just be yourself.'

'Do you – do you think I should tell New Directions then?' Ryder's worrying his lip between his teeth now.

'At the end of the day, it's your choice. But they would all be supportive and accepting. And they would keep it secret for you.' Here Blaine pauses, thinking. 'Well, I think Kitty would keep her mouth shut. Anyway, you feel so much freer when you don't have to hide this big secret from everyone all the time.'

Ryder can definitely agree with that. Even just telling Marley made things so much easier. As they head towards the door, he speaks. 'Thanks man. Your advice means a lot.'

'You're welcome,' Blaine tells him. 'And hey, good luck getting your man.'

Xxx

Ryder's been thinking about what Blaine said, and he and Jake seriously need to have a talk. Actually, this talk has been coming on for a while. He's kinda surprised though when Jake brings it up as they walk home from school.

'Do you think that New Directions knows about us yet?'

'Yea,' Ryder agrees, 'well, kind of. Blaine thinks I'm crushing on you. And the guys must be suspicious by now. Not so sure about the girls though.'

'We have had a few close calls, haven't we?' Ryder can't help but smile at this. 'And it's kinda like, I'm sick of trying to bullshit my way out of it. Y'know? I just don't want to have to pretend anymore.'

Ryder takes a deep, steadying breath before he speaks. 'Do – do you want to tell them?'

'Only if you want it too,' Jake assures him. 'And only the glee club. I'm not ready to tell the whole world yet.'

'Definitely not,' Ryder agrees. 'When I was talking to Blaine about it, well, about me coming out, he said it's gonna be awful when the rest of the school finds out. And I can't deal with that yet.'

'But the glee club won't be like that.'

'No, they won't.' Ryder thinks for a moment, before continuing. 'And we kinda should tell them, before they start creating conspiracy theories.'

Jake stops abruptly, hand pulling firmly at Ryder's shoulder. 'No, this isn't about what we should or shouldn't do. We have to decide what we want. It's a case of whether we want to tell them.'

Ryder just stands there, studying Jake while thinking it through. Eventually he answers Jake. 'Yea, I do want to tell them. I trust them, and I want to be honest with them. I want somewhere where it's safe, where I don't have to pretend anymore.'

'Good,' Jake replies, smiling widely. 'Me too. And I have a great idea for how to tell them.'

Xxx

Ryder is a bundle of nerves. Glee practise is about to start, and they're about to come out. He's starting to freak. As Kitty enters the room, he can't help but sideeye her.

He turns to Jake, tugging desperately at his sleeve. 'How do we know that Kitty won't blab?'

Jake thinks for a moment, before replying. 'I know she's a bitch, but she can actually keep a secret. We can trust her.'

Ryder isn't entirely pacified by that, but he doesn't have time to stress. Mr Schue has arrived, and he can hear Jake calling out from beside him.

'Um, Mr Schue, Ryder and I have a performance we'd like to share.'

They take their places, and this time it's Ryder's turn to speak. 'We have an announcement to make, and we kinda decided the best way was through song.' He hears the opening chords, and listens as Jake begins to sing Unchained Melody. When his cue comes, he joins in, nerves decreasing as the song progresses.

As the song finishes, they are now standing directly in front of each other, holding hands. They lean forward to kiss briefly, before turning back to the rest of the group.

They all seem shocked, except Brittany who is the first to speak. 'So wait, is your announcement that your hot boy kisses are hot?'

Ryder hears Jake giggle. 'No, it's that we're dating.'

'Oh,' Brittany sounds disappointed. 'But I already knew that.' Ryder is confused by this, but he isn't given any time to dwell on it.

'Y'know Jake,' Kitty speaks up, 'I thought it was bad enough when you were dating Sir Pukes-a-Lot. But now you're telling me _that_ could become my brother-in-law?'

'Yes,' Jake responds emphatically. 'And we're asking you to respect that. Because we're trusting you not to tell anyone.'

'Yea, we don't want the jocks giving you grief.'

'If they do though, we'll totally back you up.'

'Yea, you're our bros, and we're here for you.'

It means a lot, Ryder thinks, having all this support. It really does.

**So, um, I'm gonna put this story on hiatus until late April. I do have some ideas for the next two chapters, but I want to see a few more episodes before I write them. Just so I can have a better idea of where it's going. So yea, bit of a break, but I will come back to this and will hopefully write for all episodes to the end of the season. Hopefully.**

**Also, I've had an idea, and hopefully it isn't too presumptuous. I was thinking that to get us all through this break, I could write a few oneshots for prompts you provide me with. I'm not sure how many I'll do, but prob at least two or three. (Maybe more, depending how busy I am). I'll probably focus mostly on Jyder as we really need more of those. So if you're keen, send me some prompts, and let me know if you want them to be in this 'verse.**


	11. Feud

**I'm baa-aack. Ok, so I didn't actually go anywhere. I've even posted a couple of other Jyder fics while I've been waiting to write this. One of them is some one-shots from this 'verse from Jake's POV. So check those out if you're interested.**

**I'll be updating this slower than I did last time. Hopefully that way I won't have to take anymore breaks before the end of the season. And if I'm lucky, I might even have an episode or two of buffer.**

**I'm posting this a few days earlier than I planned to, so hopefully that doesn't mess up my timing too much.**

**So, for this chapter, I figured the Ryder/Unique feud wouldn't happen. Since they're both under the LGBTQ umbrella in this fic, I think Ryder would be more understanding. Also, obviously, the drama about kisses wouldn't happen either.**

**In this fic, I'm really not concerned about who Katie is. In fact, she's prob completely legit. She also lives in a completely diff state. And I'm not sure whether she'll even appear in other chapters. Also, I didn't put in any spelling mistakes for Ryder as I don't know enough about dyslexia to have mistakes that would seem legit. So just pretend there are mistakes.**

It's a Sunday evening, and Ryder's bored. He's texting Jake, but he has to wait ages for each reply since Jake's playing COD at the same time. It's not enough to keep him occupied, and he doesn't know what else to do. He casts his eye around the room, landing upon his laptop. Maybe he could go on Facebook, he hasn't been on there in a while. It always takes an effort to decipher everyone's shortened words.

He opens the browser, logging in quickly. When it loads, he sees he has three notifications, a message, and a friend request. He clicks the button. Katie Jensen. That doesn't ring any bells. It wouldn't hurt to have a look at her profile though.

A few minutes later, Ryder is clicking the accept button. He feels a bit awkward about it since he doesn't actually know her, and they don't have any mutual friends. But they have a lot in common, liking similar movies and music. She even likes the Three Stooges as well, which he's sure Jake will appreciate. And it doesn't hurt that he absently notices that she's vaguely good looking.

Ryder clicks through his other notifications. The message from Jake is over a week old – 'Hey cutie. Just wanted to let you know how unfairly hot you are in your dp. Miss you, I'll see you tomorrow.' Ryder laughs, amused at how much more expressive Jake is in writing. He replies quickly before poking Jake back, and reading the two conversations from posts he'd commented on.

He's just beginning to wonder what to do next when a chat window pops up.

_Katie: Ryder, I'm so glad you accepted me._

_Ryder: Sorry it took so long. Why did you add me tho?_

_Katie: I saw your comment on the New Girl page. It was funny. And you're cute :P_

Well, that was pretty blatant, as far as flirting went. He would have to set her straight. Although there was no way he could tell her about Jake. Yet.

_Ryder: Just so you know, I'm in a relationship. Friends tho?_

Xxx

A few days later, Ryder's logging back into Facebook, which is unusual for him. He had a really good chat with Katie the other day though, so he's hoping she'll be online again. When the page loads, he's excited to see that she is. They talk casually for a while before Katie's changing the subject.

_Katie: So tell me about this girlfriend of yours._

Ryder thinks for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Can he risk telling Katie? At worst, she'll decide she doesn't want to know him. That's not too bad he supposes; he hasn't really known her all that long. And she doesn't know anyone from Lima, so it's not like she can out him. Eventually, he replies.

_Ryder: Actually it's my boyfriend. Jake. He's pretty amazing._

_Katie: How long have you been together?_

_Ryder: Nearly 3 months._

_Katie: That's sweet. I'm just looking at his photos, he's a real hottie!_

_Ryder: Yea, he is. I feel so lucky._

_Katie: I bet everyone at school's real jealous of you._

_Ryder: No one really knows. Just our glee club._

_Katie: You're not out?_

_Ryder: Nah, not yet. We've both decided we're not ready to tell our parents or anyone else yet._

_Katie: That's cool. I guess when you're both ready, right?_

_Ryder: Yea, exactly. Thanks for being so cool about this._

Xxx

Jake and Ryder are curled up on the couch in Ryder's lounge, rewatching a movie they're studying in English. Well, they're kind of watching, but Ryder's feeling distracted by the patterns that Jake is drawing into his palm. He's not sure, but he thinks Jake might be writing something out. It's hard to tell though, much harder than trying to read words off a page.

Suddenly, Jake is turning on the couch, his grip on Ryder's hand now firm. 'I want to tell my mom about us.'

Ryder looks up, starting to panic. 'What? No, please, we can't.'

'But I'm sick of hiding it from her.'

'Yea, but we agreed we'd tell our parents at the same time,' Ryder reminds him. 'So we can go through the experience together. And I can't do it, Jake. I can't tell them.'

'Because you're ashamed of me.' It's not a question. Ryder can't stand how hurt Jake looks.

'No, no, definitely not. I – '

'Really?' Jake's voice is hard now, cruel almost. 'Because that's what it seems like. Like you want to hide this away from the world. Pretend like this doesn't mean anything.'

Ryder's trying to fight back the urge to cry now. 'What, no, babe, this means everything.'

'It doesn't seem like it,' Jake tells him, getting up. He's nearly at the front door when Ryder reaches him, clutching at his arm.

'Jake, please stay. No one's gonna be home for an hour. I was thinking – ' He trails off, not knowing what to say. With the mood shift, it doesn't seem like the best suggestion anymore.

And Jake's laughing now, a harsh, sharp bark. 'And let me guess. When they get home, we'll pretend we were just studying. Pretend your tongue wasn't in my mouth, and my hand wasn't down your pants.'

'Jake.' He's pleading now, but he doesn't know what else to say. Jake just looks him over one last time before letting himself out the front door.

Ryder heads back to the lounge, collapsing back onto the couch and wrapping his arms around a cushion. As he inhales the lingering remains of Jake's scent, he feels his tears start to fall. This is awful, truly terrible. Jake hates him now, and Ryder really doesn't know what to do about it.

It feels like his life is over.

Xxx

The next day, Friday, Jake is avoiding him. All day. And it sucks. Ryder's never felt so alone. Because suddenly it feels like no one will talk to him. Have they just automatically sided with Jake?

At lunchtime, Ryder heads to the library, nothing else to do. He logs into a computer, and quickly discovers that Katie is online. He's relieved, finally someone he can talk to. The conversation's casual, and for that Ryder is relieved.

He looks up when someone drags a chair next to his. It's Jake. To be honest, he's pretty surprised.

Jake seems shy, nervous. He's tangling his fingers together, and Ryder can't help but notice his wrist, which is bare. He's not wearing his bracelet. He always wears his bracelet.

Jake looks like he's about to speak, when there's a noise from the computer. He looks over Ryder's shoulder, and his expression instantly changes. Hardens. And suddenly he's sneering.

'I came over here to apologise for overreacting,' he spits out. 'But seems I don't need to. It's bad enough that you're ashamed of me, Ryder, but you don't have to make moves on the first pretty girl. You can't just hide from it Ryder. You're not straight. And that's never going to change.'

Jake's stalking off before Ryder even has a chance to say a word. He glances around the library, sees a few people are watching him curiously. Fortunately though, Jake managed to whisper, so none of them would have heard anything.

He turns back to the computer, reads the new comment from Katie. The one that made Jake react so badly.

_Katie: Does anyone ever tell you how handsome you are?_

Ryder grimaces at that, at the fact that Katie's so generally flirty. He types out a reply, willing himself to not get too upset.

_Ryder: Normally Jake would. But I don't think he will be today._

_Katie: Why? What happened?_

_Ryder: We're having a fight._

_Katie: Do you want to talk about it?_

Ryder hears the bell go, cursing his misfortune. And he has a class with Jake now.

_Ryder: Yea. But I have to get to class. Maybe some time over the weekend?_

Xxx

The weekend is miserable. Absolute hell. He tries to text Jake a couple of times, but he's not replying. Ryder just throws his phone across the room and buries himself back under his covers. There's no way he's gonna get out of bed.

His parents are nagging him. Nagging him to get out of bed. Nagging him to do some homework. Nagging him to go outside.

Finally, on Sunday morning, he does get out of bed. Even drags himself downstairs. He parks himself on the couch with the tv blaring, and logs into Facebook. He hopes that will be enough distractions.

Half an hour later, he sees that Katie's finally online.

_Ryder: Hey_

_Katie: Hi. How're things with Jake?_

_Ryder: No better. He's refusing to talk to me._

_Katie: So did you wanna explain now?_

So Ryder does. He tells about how Jake wants to come out to his mom. About how he's not ready to tell his parents. Why he's not ready to tell his parents. He tells her about the misunderstanding about her. How he's never thought of her as anything more than a friend. How he never even gives anyone a second glance. How Jake is the only one he could ever be interested in.

Eventually, he runs out of things to tell her.

_Katie: Have you told Jake all this?_

_Ryder: No, he won't talk to me. Remember?_

_Katie: You need to make him listen. Need to explain it all. Relationships need good communication._

_Ryder: You're right. Do you think I should go and see him?_

_Katie: It's worth a try. At least with his mom there he shouldn't be able to throw you out._

_Ryder: How are you so smart and so awesome at the same time?_

Xxx

When Ryder arrives at Jake's house, his mom answers the door.

'Oh, Ryder, I'm so glad you're here. Jake's been moping all weekend. Do you think you could talk some sense into him?'

She lets him into the house, sends him in the direction of Jake's room. He taps at the door, before letting himself in.

Jake looks up from his bed, glaring the moment he sees Ryder. 'What are you doing here?'

'We need to talk,' he explains. Jake goes to argue, but Ryder keeps talking. 'Well, actually, I need to talk, need to set you straight.'

Jake's still looking hostile, but he isn't actually arguing anymore. He's even sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. Ryder perches awkwardly on the end of the bed.

'Firstly, Katie is just a friend. There's nothing going on. I don't want anything to go on.'

Jake doesn't seem convinced. 'I saw that comment Ryder. How do you expect me to believe you?'

'I can show you all our conversations.' He's already getting up, grabbing Jake's laptop. Once he's logged in, he passes it over to Jake who slowly starts to read.

'Ok, I believe you,' Jake reluctantly admits when he looks up. 'But I'm still kinda worried. How do you know Katie's not some pedo?'

Ryder thinks for a moment, lets it sink in. The idea hadn't even occurred to him. 'I – I don't.'

'Yea, well, a small part of my reaction was because I was worried about you. Mostly I was jealous, but I was also concerned.'

'Do you want me to stop talking to her?' Ryder kinda hopes Jake will say no, even though he would be willing to.

'Maybe, unless you find out she's legit.' Silence falls for a moment, and Jake looks back to the screen. 'Y'know, you talk about me a lot.'

Ryder quirks a smile, pleased that they've got through that. 'Of course I do. Anyway, there's more to explain.'

Jake's shaking his head. 'No, if you're talking about the coming out, you don't have to. I was out of line to try to pressure you about that. It was just my insecurities getting in the way.'

'I still need to explain,' Ryder insists. 'I want you to know that I'm not ashamed of you. I would shout it from the rooftops, if I wasn't so scared. That's why I can't tell my parents, babe. I'm scared if I do, they won't love me anymore.'

Jake's reaching out for him now, his fingers locking with Ryder's. 'Of course they would. How could they not?'

'My parents are good Christians. They hate Obama, they hate abortion, they hate premarital sex. They probably hate gays too. They'd probably hate me.' And Ryder can feel his tears spilling over. He's getting good at crying.

Suddenly, Jake's tugging him forward, tugging him until he's lying down with his head on Jake's pillow. Jake slides down the bed until he's lying next to Ryder, arm wrapping protectively around him.

'I'm so, so sorry, baby,' he whispers. 'I didn't even think. I feel so bad that I got mad at you for this. You don't have to tell them, baby, not until you're ready.' Ryder smiles weakly back at him, the tears coming slower now. 'Well, so long as you invite them to our wedding.'

Ryder's not sure whether Jake is joking or not. But it's enough to stop the tears. Before he can get too confused, there's a tap at the door. They quickly scoot away from each other before it opens, Ryder hiding his face in a pillow.

'Boys, I'm going to work now. I'll see you later.'

Once she's left, they both let out a sigh of relief, just watching each other for a few moments.

'What should we do now?' Ryder asks quietly.

Jake acts like he's thinking for a moment. 'Well, I think I might be owing you a make out session.'

**I hope I didn't offend anyone with the stereotyping of Ryder's parents. That wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted to make sure that Ryder has a legit reason to be nervous about coming out to them.**

**Also, I hope you feel that the feuding was properly resolved.**


	12. Guilty Pleasures

**TW (I don't really understand how these work): there are a few minor slurs in this.**

'Hey, Ryder.' Ryder glances towards the choir room door, the direction that his name came from. Jake's leaning there casually, so he winds his way through the students to reach his boyfriend. 'You don't have class now, do you?'

When Ryder shakes his head, Jake grabs him by the arm, tugging him inside. Ryder can't help but wonder what's going on. Surely it's a bit risky to be making out here?

'I wanna do a song for glee,' Jake explains. 'For the guilty pleasures assignment. I wanted your opinion.'

Ryder goes to sit down. 'Yea, sure. Show me what you've got.'

Jake starts a music track playing before taking his place in the centre of the room. Ryder thinks he recognises that the song is by Chris Brown just as Jake starts dancing. Jake's dancing. Suddenly, Ryder's mind can't really focus anymore. Because dancing.

This is the first chance he's really had to really watch Jake dance since they started dating. And sure, it had been impressive to watch him when they were preparing for Sectionals. But now, now there weren't really even words for it.

Ryder doesn't realise that Jake's finished dancing until he's sitting down opposite. 'So, what did you think?'

'Yea, yea, um, yea.' Ryder isn't capable of anything else.

Jake's hand is on his shoulder now. 'Are you ok, Ryder?'

'Yea, fine. It's just, I guess,' he takes a deep breath, 'your dancing is kinda my guilty pleasure.'

'Aww, really?' Jake looks like he's actually touched. Although at the same time it seems like he's trying not to laugh. 'Well, for the record, your everything is my guilty pleasure.'

Ryder can feel himself blushing like an idiot, and he's trying to work out what to say in response. Suddenly, though, there's a third voice. Ryder had been sure they were alone.

'Hate to break up this love fest,' Tina calls, 'but Jake, please tell me you're not doing Chris Brown.'

Jake shrugs his shoulders. 'Why not?'

But Tina's already on her way out the door. 'You'll regret this.'

'For the record,' Ryder tells him once she's gone. 'I thought you were amazing.'

Xxx

In the end, Jake doesn't perform his Chris Brown song. He does a Bobby Brown one instead. Not that Ryder's complaining. Because when Jake started stressing about choreographing a new dance, he'd wanted Ryder there while he prepared. And Ryder would never get sick of watching Jake dance.

When Jake has sat back down, Marley turns to Ryder. 'So, are you gonna be performing this week?'

'No, I – ' he starts to explain.

'Oh, please,' Kitty cuts in. 'He doesn't need to. We all already know his guilty pleasure is Jake's dick.'

'Kitty,' there's a warning tone to Blaine's voice. 'You're meant to be being supportive.'

'Yea, and I'm being supportive of the fact that Ryder likes it up the arse.' There's a general chorus of noise at that, although Ryder can't help but notice that Artie looks curious. That fact makes him feel even more embarrassed.

But the way she says it makes Ryder think. The way that she makes it seem like such a bad thing, something that he should feel inherently guilty about. Although, suddenly, he's kinda thinking on a grander scale.

Xxx

'So, I've been thinking,' Ryder begins as they're walking home from school on Thursday. 'About the whole guilty pleasures thing. And what Kitty said.'

Jake's face quirks into a smile. 'I'm trying real hard not to say something inappropriate right now.'

'It's just, she's kinda right, y'know? Because society would say that you should be my guilty pleasure. That we should feel guilty about our relationship.'

'Yea,' Jake agrees absently. 'That's what you get for living in a homophobic world.'

Ryder continues, wanting to get this all out. 'It's just, I'm tired of the world dictating how I should feel about this. I worry about what all these people will say, but at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter.'

Jake's walking slower now, and his face is screwed up in concentration. 'What are you trying to say?'

'I think I want to come out. At school.'

'Why?' Jake's completely stopped now, and Ryder turns to face him.

'I see all these other couples, and I want what they have. I want to be able to hug you, and hold your hand, and kiss you good morning.'

Jake nods his agreement. 'I want that too. But why now?'

'I think that's what we're meant to be getting from this week's lesson. That we shouldn't let people dictate how we feel about ourselves. That we take ownership about what we like, and take away their power over us.' Jake's nodding slowly, clearly thinking it over carefully. 'Besides, it's so hard just acting like bros, when all I want is to kiss you all the time.'

Jake starts walking again, and Ryder begins to wonder if he'll ever understand this weird quirk of Jake's. After a while, Jake looks up. 'I'm scared. The bullying's gonna be hell.'

'I know,' Ryder agrees. 'That scares me off as well. It would be so much easier to just hide from the world. But that would be giving them the power.'

'How would we get through it though?' Ryder can see the fear in Jake's eyes. While that's not a good thing, it does at least show he's seriously considering this.

'I don't know,' Ryder admits. 'But we'll have each other. And the glee club will back us up. Besides, I already know that you can land a good punch.'

Jake winces at the memory before he begins speaking. 'Alright, I think I'm in. Although can we not do anything about it till Monday?'

'Yea, sure.' Ryder knows he needs the time to prepare as well.

'Although,' and suddenly Jake looks shy, 'would it – could I maybe hold your hand now?'

Ryder feels himself beam. 'Of course.' He slips his hand into Jake's, and instantly feels him link their fingers together, safe and comforting.

Xxx

Suddenly, all Ryder can think about is them coming out. Constantly, it seems to be on his mind. On Sunday, when they go to the food court, it comes bursting out of him.

'How're we gonna do it?' he asks, the moment they find themselves a quiet corner.

Jake seems confused, his head tilting slightly. 'Do what?'

'Come out. Because I don't think we should sing about it this time.'

'No,' Jake agrees with a laugh before falling silent. 'How about we don't make a big deal,' he finally suggests. 'We could just act like a normal couple. Since that's what we were really wanting. I'm sure everyone will work it out quickly enough.'

Ryder thinks for a moment. Yea, that should work. Holding hands down the hallway, a peck on the lips, putting their arms around each other. Everyone should be able to work out what that means.

'So long as we don't go too overboard,' he agrees.

Jake laughs at this, and his voice takes on a teasing tone. 'You mean to say you won't blow me in the hallway?'

Xxx

On Monday, as he walks down the hallway, Ryder spots Jake waiting at his locker. He smiles at Jake, a full-blown smile for once, and he's pleased when Jake smiles back.

'Hey, babe,' he greets once he's in earshot. He leans forward, placing a kiss on Jake's lips. It's just meant to be a little peck, nothing for anyone to get too outraged about, but Jake has other ideas. His arm winds firmly around Ryder's neck, and he's forcing his tongue into Ryder's mouth. At first, Ryder's surprised, but he just goes with it, quickly forgetting about the crowds in the hallway. When Jake finally pulls away, Ryder immediately notices how quiet it is. It's silent. Everyone is staring at them in absolute shock.

'Ready for class?' Jake asks, and Ryder can hear his nerves in his voice. Ryder links his hand with Jake's and pulls him out of the hallway. He'll have to cope without his books for his first class.

Xxx

It takes three hours before Ryder's aware of anyone reacting to the news. He figures that everyone's been gossiping about it during that time, but until that moment, they'd been keeping their distance.

He and Jake are walking down the hallway, hand in hand, when it happens. Out of nowhere, Phil and Bobby are standing before them, and suddenly, Ryder's very aware of just how cold he is. He tries to reopen his eyes but he can't. They burn too much.

'Welcome to Fagdom, pansies.'

Ryder just stands there, not knowing what to do. He can feel Jake's hand clenching in his.

Suddenly, he feels an arm at his elbow. 'Here, let's get you to a bathroom.'

'This your doing was it, Anderson?' Bobby continues to taunt. 'Get your fairy dust all over them?'

Ryder feels Blaine steer him down the hall. By the sounds of the cursing, Sam's there as well. Leading Jake, he figures.

Ryder's sight has been restored to him before Blaine begins to speak. 'So, did you two decide to come out, then?' Ryder just nods dumbly.

'Why didn't you tell us?' Sam wants to know. 'If you'd given us some warning, we could have protected you.'

Jake speaks up, voice sounding almost hollow. 'We can handle it.'

'You shouldn't have to,' Blaine tells them emphatically. 'Besides, this is only the beginning.'

Ryder lets the words sink in. Things are going to get worse. Sure, he knew things would be rough, but he hadn't really prepared himself. The slushy was an awful shock, and he isn't sure if he can cope with more.

Was this really the right decision?

Xxx

When they make it to Jake's house that afternoon, he's immediately digging through his wardrobe. They'd both been stuck in their gym gear for the rest of the day, and they were desperate for some clean clothes.

Ryder watches as he hunts through the piles, until Jake's getting distracted by the clothes hanging up. He just stands there, holding onto the sleeve of his leather jacket.

'Babe?'

Jake turns to him, sleeve still in his hand. 'Will, um, would you wear my jacket tomorrow?'

Ryder knows the implications of that. He'd seen enough girls wearing it at the start of the year. It would be a public declaration of their relationship. The thought scares him, and he needs to buy time.

'It's a bit late for that, Jake. I think the whole school already knows about us.'

'That's not the point,' Jake replies. 'The point is that we're not gonna try to hide.'

Ryder thinks about it for a moment. Really thinks about it. Can he do this? Can he live with the ramifications of being out? Can he handle making himself even more of a target?

Eventually he replies. 'Only on one condition. Only if you'll wear my letterman.'

**Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how hot Ryder would look in Jake's jacket.**

**So, I know some of the events in this fic probably seem to be in a really weird order. But I figure that irl that would happen, so it is realistic.**

**I also feel like now is the time to have a little disclaimer. I don't know too much about the whole coming out experience. It's not something I have ever experienced, so there is a limit to how well I can appreciate the emotions. In saying that, I feel like I have covered a lot of the issues, and I've done a much better job than I expected to when I was just starting this fic. But, I dunno, I guess be warned that it might not apply well to the real world.**

**So there are only five episodes left to write about! I have a plan for Shooting Star (for those of you who said you were excited, it should be good). I also have another storyline that would last for maybe two chapters. At this stage, I don't know where I'll fit it in, but at a push I could probably force it into Sweet Dreams. It really depends what the Lights Out episode is like (I won't be seeing it until next week, so please no spoilers).**

**But, I would like some input from you all. Let me know if there's something that you think should be included in this fic. Or if you have any ideas for what could happen in Sweet Dreams.**

**Finally, I'd just like to thank the person who linked this fic on their tumblr. I stumbled across it the other day (even though I don't have tumblr) and it was super exciting.**


	13. Shooting Star

**Warnings are as expected, given the episode this is based off of.**

When they arrive in glee, Ryder and Jake don't sit together. They're trying to prove to everyone that they're not attached at the hip. It's kinda ridiculous, Ryder knows, since they just walked in holding hands. But even still, Ryder searches out a seat off to the side while Jake goes to sit with Marley.

He's kinda surprised to see Coach there, but he doesn't think too much of it, as Mr Schue is about to start the lesson.

When he claps his hands, the noise seems to echo around the room. But, shit, no, that was a gunshot. Instantly, Ryder can feel his heart begin to hammer violently in his chest. He can barely hear anything beyond the pounding of blood in his ears.

He needs to take cover. The thought hasn't even formed properly when he finds himself already wedged in the corner. Unique is next to him, barely breathing as she battles with her fear.

He looks around. Everyone seems to be over the other side of the room. He spots Jake cowering behind the drum kit, Marley and Kitty beside him. Ryder can see there are tears on his face. It makes him realise that he's crying too.

His breaths are still coming in ragged gasps, but when he hears a noise outside they instantly become shallower. Is that the killer? The shooter? His mind conjures an image of a dark figure. As he hears the door handle jiggle, he finds himself wondering if he's about to die. He begins to panic again, unable to suck in a proper breath.

He's about to die. He's sure of it. Suddenly, all he wants is to be next to Jake. He needs him. Needs to hold him. Needs to feel his presence next to him. If he dies, he wants to die next to Jake. If he's gonna get through this ordeal, he needs Jake right here with him.

He wants to crawl across the classroom, slither over to Jake so he can be held in his strong arms. He considers it for a moment, starts to prepare himself to go. He can't do it though. He can't leave Unique here by herself. It wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to make her go through this on her own.

He lets himself collapse back against the wall, finds that his muscles are no longer able to hold him up. As he sits there, tears still rolling down his cheeks, he finds himself willing someone to come over here. Marley maybe. Or Kitty. Anyone to come be with Unique. Because he needs to get to Jake.

He looks back over to Jake, realises that he's watching him. Ryder can see the fear in Jake's expression, and suddenly he looks so young. After a moment, Jake turns away, whispers something to Marley. He detangles himself from her, and he crouches up. Ryder watches as he takes in a deep breath, shoulders shuddering slightly with the force of it. Suddenly, he's propelling himself forward, landing on his hands as he hurries across the room.

Ryder can hardly believe it when Jake is crashing into the wall next to him, sinking down to the floor. He feels his tears renew themselves, but this time, he thinks they might be from relief.

Jake's reaching a hand out now, fumbling with Ryder's thigh. It's this that makes Ryder realise how firmly he was gripping his leg. He watches as Jake pries his hand away, clasping it in his own. Their hold on each other is tight, painful even, and Ryder can feel the gouge marks from Jake's nails. But finally, finally, he realises that Jake is right here with him.

He's able to breathe easier now, Jake's presence calming him. His heart is still pounding though, and he doesn't think it'll ever return to its normal rhythm. He glances over at Jake, whose face is screwed up tightly, eyes still glassy with tears. He can't bear to look, so he turns away, just looks straight ahead.

It must be decided that he's getting too complacent, because suddenly, he's sure he hears another gunshot. Panic rises like bile in his throat, and he grips tighter at Jake's hand.

'I love you,' he tells him, voice sounding constricted as it fights past the fear.

Jake squeezes his hand briefly. 'I love you too.'

Suddenly, they're in each other's arms. Ryder is gripping at Jake's back, and the pads of Jake's fingers dig into his biceps. They just cling to each other, unable to let go. It feels as if every muscle is clenched tightly, every part of his body. Especially his windpipe.

Ryder opens his eyes. He hadn't even realised they were closed. Over Jake's shoulder, he spots Unique, looking so scared. And alone. He reaches an arm out to her, inviting her into the hug. She rushes forward gladly, pressing in tightly against Jake's back. Ryder feels her hands, soft and reassuring, on his own back.

And that's the position that they're in when they finally hear the all clear. Slowly, they detangle themselves, make their way over to the rest of the group. Gradually, Ryder can feel his whole body relax, feels the tension drain away.

But he has a hold of Jake's hand again, reassuring finger running over the marks he left. And he's not letting go for anything.

Xxx

It's a week after the shooting, and it seems to Ryder that he's barely left Jake's side that whole time. At least while at school.

For what feels like the first time, though, he's allowed himself to walk down the hallway alone, needing to get a book from his locker before glee. It feels weird, being on his own. In this past week he'd have had at least one member of New Directions with him.

'Child, I need to talk to you.' Ryder looks around wildly, trying to work out who Unique is talking to. But since she's fallen in step with him, she must be speaking to him too. Even though he's pretty sure he's older than her. 'Now, normally, I try to keep out of your mess of a love life, but this time you need Unique's help.'

Ryder feels bewildered, unsure why this conversation is even happening. 'My love life isn't a mess.'

'Mhmm, sure. Anyway, during lockdown, you told Jake you love him.' It isn't a question.

Ryder has to rack his mind for a moment. It's kinda painful, sifting through those memories. But he can dimly remember saying it, the words slipping out of their own accord. 'Yea, I-I did.'

'Had you told him that before?'

'No.' Unique's eyebrow quirks up at this.

'Have you told him since?'

'No.' There's a bit of a question in it. He really has no idea where this is going.

Her hands are on her hips now. It's kinda intimidating. 'Well, did you actually mean it?'

'Of course.' His tone is indignant; it's a ridiculous question.

'Well, it kinda seems like you were just saying it because of the situation. And Jake's probably thinking that. You need to tell him again.' Ryder is relieved that she's taken on a motherly tone now.

'I do?'

'Mhmm. Otherwise he'll be thinking that you don't really love him.'

'But I do,' he implores. He thinks for a moment. 'How am I supposed to do it?'

The impatient tone is back momentarily. 'Hell if I know. It needs to be deliberate though. You already did spur of the moment once. This time he needs to know it's intentional.'

'So what should I do?'

'I told you, I don't know. How do you expect me to know what guys like?' And suddenly she's flouncing off.

Xxx

'So what's happening?' It's Saturday, and Ryder's just picked Jake up, about to put his plan in action.

'Nah-uh, it's a surprise babe. Remember?'

Jake just grumbles in response, but it's only a few moments before Ryder is parking the car. They're at the park around the corner from Jake's house again. Ryder knows they could have just walked, but he wanted to keep this a surprise for as long as possible.

'Will you tell me now?' Jake's tugging at his arm as he tries to open the trunk of his car. 'Wait, are we going for a picnic?'

'Yea,' Ryder replies as he hands Jake the blanket. 'Is that ok?'

'Definitely.' Ryder takes Jake's hands, leading him over to the line of trees where they'd shared their first dance. He notices Jake's eyes light up when he realises the significance.

They lay the blanket out, and settle themselves down, Ryder pulling out all the food that he'd bought. They talk and laugh as they eat, sharing long looks and stealing kisses. Ryder is pretty sure this is the best date he's ever been on, even if he says so himself.

'This was so sweet of you, baby.' Jake tells him as he finishes the last donut.

'Well, that's not quite everything. Can you get the last of the stuff out of the basket?' He's lying down now, head pillowed on Jake's knees, so he can't really reach.

Jake leans over, hand that had been in Ryder's hair now searching through the basket. He pulls out a tray of chocolates, but then he's turning back to Ryder, confused. 'Why are there speakers in here?'

'I, um, wanted to serenade you.' He sits up now, leaning over to take the speakers from Jake. Jake's watching him, intrigued, as he sets the music playing. As the track for _Your Song_ begins, Ryder looks deep into Jake's eyes, and sings to him. By the time the song finishes, he thinks Jake might be tearing up.

When Jake doesn't say anything, Ryder begins to explain. 'I-I wanted to make today special. Because I want to tell you something, and I wanted every moment to lead up to this.' He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. 'Jake, I love you.'

'I love you too.' Jake's smiling broadly now, leaning forward to pull him into a tight hug. When he eventually lets go, he places a kiss on Ryder's cheek, before sitting back. 'This, everything today, it was just – wow. It was perfect. Amazing. And I just – I love you so much, Ryder.'

All Ryder can do is smile in response. He doesn't think he's ever been this happy before.

**So I know the speakers in the picnic basket was a bit cheesy, but I just wanted to include Your Song in this chapter.**

**I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone again for reading this. Also big thanks for those who have favourited or followed. And to those of you who have reviewed, it means so much to me. I love hearing what you think of this. Checking to see if I have new reviews is a great reward system for getting up in the early mornings or writing assignments etc. So thanks for helping me with that!**

**And I think, hopefully, that I've worked out what I'm doing for the next two chapters. I think. Hopefully. But at least at the moment I have a plan for including the storyline I mentioned. So hopefully I won't need to stress too much.**


	14. Sweet Dreams

**I've moved the Ryder storyline from the next episode into this chapter. So if you haven't seen Lights Out yet, SPOILER WARNING. Also, trigger warnings related to what it's about. I've tried to explain at the end of this chapter why I've moved this storyline, so hopefully that makes sense.**

**Other trigger warnings are for more bullying and homophobic slurs.**

**I included the lyrics to the song in this chapter because they fit really well with the story. If you want all the feels, I def recommend looking up the song on Youtube.**

For a while, after the lockdown, everyone lays off of Jake and Ryder. But soon the bullying is back, the jocks ganging up against them in every way they can. There are locker shoves, and frequent slushies. Ryder is shocked by the sheer number of people who taunt them with insults. He's sure it isn't this bad for Blaine. But then again, everyone's always known Blaine is gay. Until recently, they'd assumed that Ryder and Jake were both straight jocks. Maybe the sense of betrayal has brought out homophobic tendencies.

It's not until Ryder's getting changed after gym class one day that he realises how bad the bullying is getting. He gathers soap and a towel from his locker, before heading to the shower. They ran laps today, and he smells really bad.

As he steps up into the wet area, two of the tallest jocks step in front of him. 'Don't think you're going in there, homo.' They step forward, into his space, and Ryder steps back, stumbling back down the step. He loses his balance, falling to the floor.

The other boy speaks up now. 'We wouldn't want you sneaking looks. Little fag like you, you'd probably get off on it.'

There are a couple of other guys gathering around now. Ryder tries to bum shuffle back. His locker is just behind him, if he can just reach that, he'll be fine. He hasn't gone back far though when he's crashing into someone's legs. There's an entire circle of guys around him now. He cowers down, fearful.

Someone snatches his towel from his hand. With a sharp _crack_ he feels it connect with his back. 'Do you think we can beat the gay out of him?' There are jeers and catcalls at this. The pain comes again and again. The noise is building, everyone having something to yell at him, some obscenity that needs sharing.

Ryder just curls in on himself, unsure what he can do. He's only been hit maybe four times, but the pain is immense. He tries not to make any noise, tries not to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they're hurting him. But the next time a blow lands on him, a cry tumbles from his mouth.

Suddenly, the room is almost silent. 'Shit,' a voice from the back says, 'do you think he's getting off on this?'

'Ew, he's a poofter and a freak.' Slowly, the crowd begins to disperse, disturbed at the thought of what they're getting involved in.

Ryder's relieved, pleased that it's finally over, until he hears another voice. 'Hey, look, here's pansy boy's letterman. Y'know, he lets his boy toy wear it.'

'That's shameful,' someone else adds. 'Getting faggy germs on Titans' colours.'

'Yea, we can't be having that.' Ryder watches, from his position on the ground, as two jocks take his jacket, tearing it in two between them. There's a cheer at this, and it gets ripped further, into smaller and smaller pieces. Ryder wonders briefly how they manage it, but he thinks he sees a pair of scissors.

The first jock approaches him now, holding all the pieces of the jacket. 'Still want it?' He lets the pieces fall over Ryder like confetti.

Everyone is long gone by the time Ryder gets back up. Slowly, he begins to change, no longer wanting a shower. The bell went a long time ago, and he knows Jake is probably waiting for him. It's nearly time for glee club.

Ryder is just stuffing his gym clothes back in his locker when Jake arrives. He takes in the scene, the pieces of jacket, and Ryder's sad eyes, before wrapping Ryder in a hug. 'Baby, are you ok?'

'No.' Haltingly, Ryder explains what happened, proud that he's able to get through it all without crying. When he finishes, Jake holds him tighter, but he doesn't say anything. Ryder knows why; there's nothing he can say.

Eventually, Jake pulls away. 'Do you want to come to glee club? You know we're safe there.' Ryder just nods in agreement, letting Jake lead him by the hand.

They make it to the choir room in one piece, although they do get shoved roughly into a locker. When they get there, Jake sits down before pulling Ryder on top of him. Ryder settles himself on Jake's lap, and Jake pulls him in close, hand rubbing over his back. Ryder buries his nose in Jake's neck, and relishes the feeling of safety.

When Mr Schue starts to speak, he manages to insult Sam, Blaine and Unique all in one breath. But then Ryder hears his own name. 'And Jake and Ryder, you don't need to shove your gay love down our throats. It's kinda inappropriate.' He's staring at them pointedly, like he expects Ryder to move. Ryder starts to shift, but Jake is holding him tight. He just lets himself sag back against Jake. Weren't they meant to feel safe and accepted here?

Xxx

The next day, Ryder and Jake are summonsed to the auditorium. When they get there, they find Marley, Unique, Blaine and Sam standing on stage.

'Have a seat,' Marley calls to them. Once they're seated, she continues. 'So we've noticed that you guys are having a rough time at the moment. And what Mr Schue said was way out of line. So we wanted to sing you this song.'

Music begins, and Ryder is instantly drawn in. The lyrics are amazing, and he feels himself tearing up.

_We feel, we hear, your pain, your fear  
But we're here, to say, who you are, is okay_

And don't have to go through this on your own  
You're not alone

You have more friends than you know  
Some who surround you  
Some you are destined to meet  
You'll have more love in your life

Don't let go, give it time

Take it slow,  
Those who love you the most, may need more time to grow

It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay  
You have more friends than you know

Be brave, be strong  
You are loved, you belong

Some day soon, some day soon  
You will see, you will see  
You're exactly, who you're supposed to be

You have more friends than you know  
Some who surround you  
Some you are destined to meet  
You'll have more love in your life  
Don't let go, give it time, give it time  
Take it slow, take it slow  
Those who love you the most, may need more time to grow  
It's gonna be okay  
You have more friends than you know

Be who you are, learn to forgive

It's not about who you love, but how you live  
How you live

You have more friends than you know  
Some who surround you  
Some you are destined to meet  
You'll have more love in your life  
Don't let go, give it time, give it time  
Take it slow, take it slow  
Those who love you the most, may need more time to grow  
It's gonna be okay  
You have more friends than you know  
It's gonna be okay.

Xxx

It's Friday night, and Jake is staying over. They're perched on Ryder's bed, watching a movie, when his dad knocks on the open door.

'Jake, do you wanna give me a hand moving the mattress in?' Ryder waits while the two of them haul the mattress through from the guest bedroom. When his father leaves, Jake shuts the door.

Ryder turns to him as he settles on the bed. 'Are you actually gonna sleep on that?'

'Of course not,' Jake laughs in reply. 'But I couldn't really tell your dad that I intended to spoon you all night, could I? I'm not really in the mood for lectures about the depths of hell.'

'So what are you in the mood for?'

'Snuggling,' Jake immediately answers. 'Do you think that can be arranged?'

Ryder smiles, leaning forward to kiss Jake lightly. 'I think it definitely can.'

The last words Ryder hears before he falls asleep are whispered against his neck. 'Sweet dreams, baby.'

Xxx

Ryder can feel hands on him, stroking him and rubbing him. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want her touching him. He tries to tell her, but his voice won't work. He tries to yell, but he can't make a sound. The touching is more insistent now, forceful and rough. The fear is welling up in him. He can't handle this, he doesn't want it. Why won't she stop? Why does she keep going?

'Ryder.'

There are more hands on him now. Hands are gripping at his sides. There is a heavy weight on the back of his head. There are hands all over him, touching him everywhere. There are so many people now. Why are they all touching him?

'Ryder, baby, wake up. Ryder. You're ok. I'm here. Baby.' Gradually, the voice registers in his mind. He knows that voice, he realises. That voice means safety. He forces his way towards it.

The hand on his arm is soft, reassuring. The hand stroking through his hair is gentle, loving. Jake is curled around his back, whispering in his ear. Slowly, Ryder turns himself over, managing to bury his face into Jake's warm chest.

'Did you have a nightmare, baby?' Ryder just nods his head. 'Do you want to tell me about it?' He nods again.

It's a few minutes before he begins to speak. He needs to recover first, and mentally prepare himself. 'I've never told anyone this before.' He's speaking into Jake's chest. Jake's arms tighten around him. Tears are already beginning to slip down his face, landing on Jake's bare chest. 'When I – when I was eleven, I-I was molested. By my babysitter.'

Ryder wants to bury himself further into Jake's arms, but Jake is pulling away. He just leaves one hand on Ryder's bicep. 'Oh, Ryder, that's awful. That's really, really terrible.' Ryder doesn't say anything. He just continues to cry. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I've never told anyone, Jake,' he repeats. 'I, well, often I can kinda block it out. I haven't had a nightmare about it in ages.'

'I wish you'd told me though,' Jake presses. 'If I'd known, I never would have made you do anything.'

Ryder studies Jake for a moment, thinking over his words. Is this why he's being so distant? He sneaks a bit closer, places an arm over Jake's waist. 'No, Jake, that's completely different. I chose to do things with you. I can make those decisions.'

'But, the hotel room, everything, it was all my idea.'

'Yes, but if I didn't want to do anything, I would have said no. I trust you Jake, and I know I'm safe with you. I know I have a say with you.'

'Really?' Jake still doesn't seem convinced.

'Yes.' Ryder edges even closer, and he can hear the vulnerability in his voice. 'Now will you please just hold me?'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. I really need you to hold me right now.' Jake finally relents, wrapping Ryder up tightly again. Ryder feels his tears return with more force, now that he doesn't have to pacify Jake anymore. As he lies there, safe in Jake's arms, he just takes all the comfort he can get from the situation. The first comfort he's gotten about this in over four years.

Above him, he thinks he hears Jake whisper into his hair. 'I love you, y'know.'

**So I really felt that Ryder would tell Jake about this before he told the rest of the New Directions (if he told them. Do you have any opinion whether he'd tell them in this fic?). But I kinda felt he wouldn't be like 'hey, guess what' about it. So by doing the dream thing, it tied in really well with the episode title. Also, next chapter will be pretty jam packed with happenings so I didn't want to put it in there.**

**So this is another thing I don't really know too much about. I really just wrote this on instinct. There were a few things that I was unsure about, but the biggest thing was how it would have affected Ryder in his day to day life. Like, whether he would have days where it wouldn't occur to him, or if it was always there in the back of his mind. But I hope it felt believable enough to you. I really felt that this was too important a part of Ryder's character for me to ignore completely.**

**Just a reminder, if there's anything that you want rewritten from this fic (or scenes in this verse) in Jake's POV, I am taking prompts. So far, I've written Jake falling for Ryder, Jake's POV of them getting together, and Jake's POV of the I Do chapter, including the morning after. They are all in a fic called You're the One That I Want (from the Grease song, of course). Also, I'll take prompts for other stories too. I'm kinda keen to maybe do some Jyder AU.**

**Speaking of other stories, I posted a Jyder one-shot the other day called High on Love and Laughing Gas (shameless plug).**


	15. Lights Out

**So I decided not to have Ryder tell New Directions his secret, since there's really no need to. But it will be referenced in the chapter.**

**Warnings for more bullying and slurs and references to molestation.**

The school has been dark for a day and a half so far. And it sucks, because Ryder has no means of lighting his way. His GPA isn't high enough for him to have a torch. And he didn't bring one from home, because he was convinced the lights would be back on today.

It's ok though, because Jake has taken it upon himself to walk Ryder to every one of his classes. Every time, he keeps a guiding hand on the small of Ryder's back, as if he's worried he'll lose him in the darkness. Not that Ryder's complaining. He would never complain about that.

They're taking a short cut to Ryder's class so that Jake will have enough time to make it to his own. The hallway is deserted, until suddenly Ryder spots Phil and Bobby approaching. Ryder tugs at the hem of Jake's shirt to get his attention.

'Hello boys,' Bobby calls, voice overly loud in the empty hall.

'Hey.' Ryder tries to act casual as he attempts to skirt around them, leading Jake.

Bobby stops them with a hand on Ryder's chest. 'Hey now, not so fast. I actually have a proposition for you. I could help you turn straight.' Ryder really doesn't trust his calm tone.

'I don't want your help.'

'Well, ok, not my help exactly. Celeste's actually. She's quite keen on you, y'know?' He's patting Ryder's shoulder now, in what is meant to be a friendly gesture. 'She'd be quite happy to go down on you. Straighten you out.'

'No thanks.' Jake's hand has curled around his waist now, attempting to lead him away. But Ryder can't get free from Bobby's sudden grip.

'Actually, the thing is, she doesn't really need your permission. She'll go right ahead and do it anyway.' Ryder feels his blood run cold. No, he really doesn't want to think about it.

Phil speaks up now, still standing next to Bobby. 'And she'll make you enjoy it, if ya know what I mean.' Jake's fingers are digging into his side now. Ryder's not sure if it's meant to calm him, or if Jake's getting angry.

The jocks are preparing to leave, but Bobby has one last comment. 'We'll get her to pay you a visit in the locker room some time.' Ryder can't handle it anymore, the thoughts are too painful. Apparently Jake's had enough too because he's letting go of Ryder, hands balling up into fists as he marches towards Bobby.

Jake has just started to pull his fist back when Phil lands an uppercut to his jaw. Jake hadn't even seen it coming, too busy focussing on Bobby, and he falls to the floor in an instant. Both jocks begin to attack him and Ryder doesn't even have to think. He charges at Phil, knocking him off Jake, both of them landing hard. Immediately, he and Phil start fighting, both of them landing their own punches. Ryder gets hit in the eye, but he returns it with one to the nose. Suddenly though, he can't breathe, Phil having punched him in the solar plexus. He collapses onto his back, trying to draw breath as Phil plans another assault.

In the background, Ryder can hear Jake yelling loudly at Bobby, as he has been from the start. Suddenly though, another voice joins his. It takes Ryder a moment to make out what is being said. Eventually though, he realises that it's Coach Beiste, come to their rescue.

They're all sent to the nurse. None of them are too badly hurt, but they have to be cleaned up before they go see Principal Figgins. Besides, their parents have to come too, so this is a time killer until they arrive.

Once everyone is gathered, Figgins' office is rather crowded. Ryder's parents, Jake's mom, and Bobby's dad are all there. Nobody bothers to show up for Phil.

'Would somebody please explain what happened here?' Figgins asks, once he manages to get everyone's attention.

Beiste speaks up. 'Best as I can figure, this was a hate crime.'

'What?' Jake's mom seems genuinely shocked. 'I didn't raise my son to be like that.'

Phil sniggers at this. 'No, you raised him to be a fag.'

'I'm sorry, what?' The confusion is evident on her face.

This time, it's Bobby who explains. 'Your sons are butt buddies.'

Next to him, Ryder hears his mom suck in a sharp breath. Beyond her, his dad starts muttering. He glances over to Jake, they share a worried look.

Figgins seems to grasp the situation pretty quickly. 'I take it this is news to you.' There are murmured agreements. 'If you like, we could all give you a moment?' He gives the others a pointed stare and they shuffle out of the office.

Ryder's mother is instantly turning to him, as his father pulls up a chair to sit opposite. 'Is this true?'

'Um, ah, yea. Jake's my boyfriend.' He can't quite make eye contact while he says it.

'Why didn't you tell us, honey?'

Ryder looks quickly between the two of them, trying to gauge their expressions. 'I was afraid you would hate me for it.'

'Ryder, y'know we'll always love you, right?' She's gripping his knee, as if to get her point across.

'But –but what about your religion and stuff?'

His father speaks this time. 'We, well, we don't really know for sure what God thinks of gays. And even if we did, that wouldn't change anything. You being with Jake doesn't make us love you any less.'

'So you're really ok with this?' Ryder can't believe that they're being so accepting.

'It's gonna take some getting used to,' his mother explains. 'But right now, it's not that important. I think Jake needs you.'

Ryder turns to look. Jake's mom is talking forcefully, and he's just sitting there, hanging his head. He looks dejected, and it hurts Ryder to see. He reaches over, grabbing hold of Jake's hand. Jake glances off to the side, towards him, but doesn't actually look at him.

Suddenly, Jake's mom is standing up, heading towards the door. Jake finds his voice, lets out a pitiful 'Mom'. It sounds so lost.

'I just – I need time to think,' she explains, before walking out.

Jake just stares back down at his knees again. He doesn't even notice when Ryder edges closer, or when he wraps his second hand around the hand he's holding. He just sits there, completely still.

Figgins returns then. 'Well, since we only have half the families here, we'll schedule a meeting for later.' Ryder has suspicions that the meeting will never eventuate.

Ryder's parents get up, and he follows suit. He has to tug Jake up, in the end, leading him out the door by the hand. It's as if Jake has gone into shock, and shut off completely. When they make it to the front entrance though, he looks around, confused.

'Where are we going?'

'My house.' Ryder turns to his parents, 'if that's ok?'

'Of course,' his mom responds enthusiastically. 'If you want, Jake can stay for dinner. We can work out what will happen from there.'

Xxx

All afternoon, Jake barely says a word. After a quiet car ride home, Ryder sits them down in front of the tv, finding a movie to put on. He wraps Jake up in his arms, holding him close. He can tell that Jake's hurting, surprised by the way his mom reacted. He figures that Jake will talk to him when he's ready though. So he just runs a reassuring hand over Jake's arm. Jake buries himself further and further into Ryder as time goes on.

Jake barely speaks during dinner, and after a while, Ryder's parents give up trying to ask him questions. They do their best to maintain a conversation though. And Ryder is relieved when Jake actually eats something.

They return to the lounge after dinner, and Ryder thinks Jake dozes off while they watch tv. An hour later, Ryder's mom comes in, beckoning him over.

'I talked to Jake's mom. She wants more time, so Jake's gonna stay over tonight.'

Ryder tries to ignore the anger that's rising in him. 'Ok, well, we might go to bed now then. It's been a tiring day.'

His mother nods in reply. 'Ok, I'll set the couch up for Jake then.'

'Actually, would it be – it's just that Jake needs to know that someone loves him right now. So would it be ok, could he maybe sleep in my bed tonight?'

There's a softness in his mom's eyes. 'You really love him, don't you?'

'So much.' It comes out as a whisper.

'Ok, fine. Just this once. Although I guess it's probably not the first time.' He finds himself hugging her before she starts speaking sternly. 'And no funny business. We'll have to set some ground rules soon.' As he's walking away, he's sure he hears her mumbling, 'Although I bet you've broken them all already.'

Xxx

It takes some work, but eventually Ryder gets Jake tucked up into bed. The moment he's in there as well, Jake is snuggling into his chest, and Ryder holds him as tightly as he possibly can.

'I love you,' he whispers. Jake just hums in response.

A while later, Jake speaks through the darkness. 'I thought she loved me.'

'I'm sure she does. She just has to get her head around it.'

'But the things she said, though. It hurt so much.'

'I know, babe.' He squeezes Jake tighter. 'She might not have meant it though.'

'She probably did.' There's nothing Ryder can say in response, so he just lies silently. 'Your parents didn't seem surprised.'

'They were,' Ryder assures him. 'I think they're just pretending everything's ok. At least until they get used to it.'

There's a beat of silence until Jake speaks. 'This sucks.'

And he's right. He's really, really right. Suddenly, all the emotions from the day well up in Ryder. The tears flow over. It's at that moment that he realises that Jake has been crying for a while. So they just hold each other close, and cry together. When there are no tears left, they eventually drift off. It's a fitful sleep, but at least they have each other for comfort.

**So I finally managed to include the storyline that I've been planning. I hope it didn't feel like too much of a plot twist, but I've known I was gonna do that for a long time. Hopefully it will resolve somewhat in the next chapter.**

**I'll warn you now, my plan for this fic is to write chapters for the last two episodes and then an epilogue (which may be kinda short). So it's nearly over!**

**I've posted a new one-shot in You're the One That I Want about Jake facing the bullies on his own (since Ryder did last chapter). I've also started another Jyder fic that's set in Artie's dream world from Glee, Actually.**

**I feel like I had a bunch of other stuff I needed to tell you, but I really can't remember it. Hopefully it wasn't too important.**


	16. Wonder-ful

'Ryder!' He whips around from his locker when he hears his name, searching the hallways. He recognised Jake's voice instantly, and now he's panicking. Why would Jake be so desperate to find him that he'd be yelling for him?

Jake has nearly reached him by the time Ryder spots him. He's smiling, walking with a slight bounce to his step. Ryder is relieved. He doesn't think he's seen Jake look even vaguely happy since the scene with his mom.

'What's up?' he asks when Jake stops in front of him, leaning in for a quick peck. He can almost see the excitement vibrating off of him.

'Mercedes just asked me to be in her music video.' He's gripping at Ryder's wrist, the pressure a bit too much.

Ryder finds himself grinning in response. 'That's awesome, babe. I'm so proud of you.'

'Thanks! Also, Mike thinks I could become a leader in New Directions.' Ryder notices the way his enthusiasm drops down several notches. Although it's still higher than it has been all week.

'He's right. You totally could.'

Jake doesn't seem convinced. He's worrying his lip between his teeth. 'You really think so?'

'Yes.' Ryder grips at the hand that's still holding his wrist. 'You're insanely talented, babe. And I can definitely see you in a leadership role.'

Jake just smiles dopily in response, closing Ryder's locker for him before leading him down the hall.

Ryder watches him out of the corner of his eye. 'Who knows? Next year I could be dating the captain of the glee club.' Jake just laughs in response, but Ryder is determined that he will realise his potential eventually.

Xxx

Glee club is finished for the day, Kurt's performance having put an end to it. Jake is off talking music videos with Mercedes, and Ryder is feeling a little lost.

'Hey, buddy.' He looks over as Mike sits down next to him. 'Long time, no talk.'

Ryder nods in reply. 'Yea, it's been a while.'

'So the rumour mill tells me that you and Jake are together?' He continues on when Ryder just nods. 'Well, now I feel bad about all those things I said about him before sectionals.'

'Don't, man. It's not like it was enough to scare me off. Obviously.'

Mike just watches him for a few moments, taking that in. 'So, how're things going for you two?'

'Not so well.' He takes a deep breath. Explaining this isn't getting any easier. 'We got outed to our parents last week. Jake's mom hasn't talked to him since.'

'What, so they're just living in silence?'

'No, she threw him out. He's staying with Puck's mom at the moment.' Ryder's mom hadn't liked the idea of the two of them living under one roof for more than the one night. Jake had immediately gotten in contact with Puck, whose mom had been more than happy to help out.

Mike nods sympathetically. 'That's rough, dude.'

'Hey, kiddo, sorry to interrupt.' Mr Hummel is peering up at them from his seat in front. 'But no kid should have to go through that. Would you be ok with me having a talk to your boy's mom?'

'Umm, I dunno. I mean, if you want. Not sure how much good it'll do though.'

'It's worth a shot though, right?' He's smiling kindly at Ryder. 'And I do kinda know what she's going through.'

'Thanks Mr Hummel.' It means a lot to him, the fact that someone's finally willing to try to fix this for them.

'None of that. Call me Burt; everyone else does. Now, where can I find her?'

Xxx

'I don't know if I can do this,' Jake tells him, hands gripping Ryder's. They're parked outside Jake's house; his mother has agreed to see them.

'Yes, you can. We can,' he amends. 'Everything's gonna be fine Jake.'

'What if she never wants to see me again?'

Ryder's been worrying about that too, but he pushes the thought from his mind. 'She agreed to this, Jake. I think that's a pretty good sign.'

Jake nods slowly in agreement. Ryder can hear him fighting to get his breathing under control. It's getting there, and Ryder figures that it's the best he can hope for. He detangles their hands before getting out of the car. Jake meets him on the sidewalk and immediately reattaches himself to Ryder.

Jake lets them in the front door, and they quickly find his mom waiting for them in the lounge.

'Hey, boys.' Her smile is forced, and Ryder can hear the effort involved in making her tone friendly.

Jake doesn't reply, just sits himself down opposite her. Ryder supposes he can't answer, so he greets her for the both of them. He can hear his own discomfort in his voice. 'Hi, Mrs Puckerman. Thanks for having us.'

Her mouth quirks slightly, as if that last sentence sounds odd to her too. 'I should have had you here sooner. It shouldn't have taken Burt talking some sense into me.' Jake is staring fixedly at his knee, where Ryder's hand is resting lightly. 'I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't mean to ignore you for so long. I just didn't know how to fix this.'

Jake looks up sharply at this. 'I don't need fixing.'

'That's not what I meant.' Her eyes are wide and her voice is panicky. 'No, Jake, you're fine the way you are. I meant this situation. I meant that fact that I turned my back on you.'

'Oh.' Jake returns his attention to his knees. Ryder can see that he regrets his outburst.

'Jake, I still love you. I'll always love you. And I wouldn't change anything about you. I don't care what your sexuality is.'

This time, when Jake speaks, he doesn't look up. His voice sounds hollow. 'Why did you react like that then?'

'I didn't know any better,' she admits. 'I was ignorant. I've been fed so many lies about being gay. I thought being gay meant all these bad things, and it scared me that you'd suddenly become this monster.' Ryder's starting to see why she reacted the way she did. 'But I realise now that it doesn't make you any different. It just means that you love Ryder.'

'I really do,' Jake tells her, sounding a little choked. It's the only thing he can respond to; the only thing Ryder would be able to respond to too.

'I know, I can see it. And I want you to know that I'm happy for you, both of you.'

Ryder smiles at that, warmer now and forming more easily. 'Thank you. That means a lot.'

She smiles in reply before turning back to Jake. 'And Jake, I'm just so, so sorry that I betrayed you like that. I should be there for you, no matter what. And I wasn't. But I really hope you'll let me earn your trust back.'

There's a small smile on Jake's face now. 'I'll try. We'll get there. Eventually.'

'I hope so. But um,' she looks hesitant now, 'would it be alright if I gave you a hug?'

'Of course.' He's moving forwards slowly, still apprehensive. But when his mom wraps her arms tightly around him, Ryder can see that most of the tension leaves his shoulders.

Suddenly, he hears Jake's mom calling his name. 'Come join us.' He puts an arm around each of them, hugging them tightly. He can feel the love radiating from them both. He's glad they still have that.

Jake's mom is talking to him again, voice loud in his ear. 'So, Ryder, would you like to come round for dinner this weekend? Y'know, officially, as my son's boyfriend.'

Xxx

The next day, Ryder is unbelievably happy, pleased to have Jake pretty much back to normal. Jake doesn't stop talking all morning, telling him about how comfortable his bed was, the breakfast his mom made, the text she sent him this morning.

Even the bullying can't bring him down. He just ignores all the locker shoves and name calling. Although he's pretty sure he's gonna have a bruise on his shoulder.

The day is almost over when Coach Beiste calls them into her office. 'I'm sorry nothing happened about Surette and Lipoff,' she tells them when they're both sitting. 'Although I have suspicions you'd have been getting in trouble too, Jake.'

'Yea, probably,' he mumbles.

'I've noticed that you're both having a pretty rough time.' They nod their agreement. 'So I've talked to the other teachers, and we're gonna be cracking down on it. On all bullying. So there'll be detentions. And any sportsplayers or cheerleaders will be suspended from practises and games for a week.'

'Do you think it'll actually make a difference?' Ryder has to ask; he has his doubts.

'Well, I mean, realistically, it won't disappear completely. But it'll have to get better. More so than if we just left it to Figgins.'

Ryder knows that is definitely true. So he tries to convince himself that it's good news. Because the less injuries he winds up with, the better. In fact, if he's lucky, this might be the last time he'll have to ice his shoulder.


	17. All or Nothing

'Hey, Ryder?' Jake has his arms wrapped around Ryder, chin resting on his shoulder as they sit on the couch.

'Yea, babe?'

'How come, um, I was just wondering, how come you haven't updated your relationship status on Facebook?'

Ryder cracks his eyes open, letting his head fall against Jake's. 'Huh?'

'Facebook still says your single.'

'Oh.' Ryder sits up further, pulling Jake with him. 'Yea, I haven't been on in a while. Not since I was talking to Katie.'

Jake nods his understanding, hand coming up to run over Ryder's chest. 'So, um, I was thinking, do you wanna, would you maybe – '

'I'll change it now if you want?' Jake nods his agreement as Ryder tries to unwrap himself.

He returns a couple of moments later with his laptop, and Jake immediately cuddles back up to him, chin returning to his shoulder. 'You're warm.'

'Mhmm,' Ryder agrees, but he's focussing on logging in now. 'So, why was it so hard to ask me anyway?'

'Dunno. Guess it's kinda the last step in coming out.'

Ryder turns towards him. 'You really think so? You don't think it's gonna be an on-going daily thing?'

'Suppose,' Jake murmurs, leaning forward to kiss him lightly. He nods at the screen. 'You have quite a few notifications.'

Ryder turns towards the screen, Jake's lips trailing along his jaw to his ear. There are 11 new notifications. When he clicks the button he sees they're mostly posts on his wall, so he clicks onto his profile. The page loads.

'Shit, Jake,' he whines, gripping at his leg. He can't believe the comments that are written there. They're ten times worse than anything that has been said aloud to them. It's too much, and he can't handle it.

Jake has been reading over his shoulder, and now he pulls Ryder towards him, rearranging their bodies so that he's holding Ryder protectively. Ryder leans his head into Jake's chest. He can feel tears on his face. 'Oh, baby. You'll be alright.'

'But, but – ' He can't even form a coherent sentence.

'I know, I know. It sucks. I guess we should have known the bullying would evolve.' Ryder just nods miserably. The bullying had been getting better with the teachers cracking down. But not anymore.

After a while, he tilts his head up to look at Jake. 'Has this been happening to you?'

'Not really. I culled most of the idiots from my friends list.'

'Not really?' That sounds suspicious.

'Only once or twice. It's not a big deal.' Ryder can't help but think it is. But he can't really bothered arguing about it. So he just snuggles closer against Jake, feeling the light press of kisses on his forehead.

The next time he tilts his head up, his lips catch against Jake's adams apple. He takes the opportunity to suck distractedly at it, focussing in more as Jake reacts. His hands find their way up under Jake's shirt, running over the knobs of his spine. Jake presses towards him, silently begging for more. Suddenly though, he's pulling away.

'Um, so, um, when are your parents coming home?'

Ryder continues his exploration, thumbs pressing into Jake's sides. 'Not for ages. They have some dinner thing.'

Apparently that's all the answer that Jake needs. Because he's pressing Ryder back now, forcing him backwards until he's lying on the couch. Jake rests his weight on top of Ryder, lips finding his and hands tangling in his hair. Ryder can't think of anything beyond Jake.

Sometime later, Ryder has lost his shirt, and Jake is placing lazy open-mouthed kisses across his chest. The next thing he's aware of is a booming voice.

'Get off of my son.' Jake is moving away in an instant, and Ryder immediately feels cold. His dad continues talking in the same harsh tone. 'Ryder put a shirt on.'

He sits up, glancing between his parents. 'What are you doing home so early?'

'Dinner got shifted,' his mother explains. 'Seems it was just as well too. I would hate to think what you two would be getting up to otherwise.'

'I-I thought you two were ok with us?'

His mom seems to consider them for a moment. 'Yea, sure, we may be. Doesn't mean that behaviour's acceptable though.'

'We-we weren't actually doing anything.' Jake doesn't even try to make eye contact as he speaks.

'Really?' His mom's voice is pitching higher now. 'I would hate to think what depraved things you two get up to then.'

Ryder can feel his anger rising, and suddenly he can't hold it in. 'Bloody hell, Mom. Can't you pretend to be accepting?'

Now his father's joining in again too. 'Ryder, that's no way to speak to your mother.'

'What, but she can say what she likes? So what would you like to say next, Mom? That I'm diseased, and going to hell?'

'Ryder – ' His mother's tone is placating now, but he ignores her, turning to Jake.

'Come on, I'll walk you home.' Jake seems relieved. Ryder pointedly ignores both of his parents as he tugs Jake out the front door.

Xxx

Ryder goes through the next day on autopilot. He barely speaks. He barely notices anything going on around him. He's vaguely aware of the fact that Jake is worrying about him though.

Eventually, it's time for glee, and when practise starts, he regretfully drags himself to the front of the room. 'So, I've got some bad news,' he tells them, 'my parents are transferring me to Dalton.' They'd told him the night before, when he'd eventually gone back home. He'd argued with them of course, but they wouldn't listen to reason.

Everyone looks shocked. Especially Jake. Ryder hadn't managed to find the courage to tell him before now.

Mr Schue is smiling at him though. 'Well, then, we'll just have to make sure we kill it at Regionals then. Make it a fitting farewell.'

Ryder studies the ground, not wanting to see everyone's shocked expressions. 'Actually, I won't be competing. I've been grounded.' Because apparently he isn't allowed to have an opinion. Apparently he just has to deal with whatever crap his parents throw at him.

He glances up to see everyone heading down the risers towards him. But he really can't handle them all trying to console him. So he turns away abruptly, heading out the door.

He isn't surprised when he hears Jake's footsteps following him. And actually, he's relieved. Because right now, he just needs his boyfriend to hold him while he cries.

Xxx

His parents have decided that part of his grounding means that he isn't allowed to attend glee practise at all. He was only allowed to go to the one session to say goodbye to everyone. So suddenly, he has all this extra free time after school. And he doesn't know what to do with it.

On one of these days, his mom's working from home. When he's walked through the entire house three times, trying to find something to do, he joins her in the kitchen, where she's having a coffee break. He sits down next to her at the breakfast bar.

'So, um, all this shit that's – '

'Language,' she scolds.

He tries again. 'Ok. So all this stuff that's happened the past couple of days. Can we talk about it? Without arguing. Because it's really hurting me, and I just, I need to understand.'

She studies him for a few moments before she begins to speak. 'The stuff I said about you and Jake, I didn't say it because it was Jake. I would have said the same thing if it had been a girl. You know the idea of purity is important to me.'

'It's my decision though, Mom.'

'I feel like I should have a say in it though. Because I worry you'll make the wrong decision.'

'Bit late for that,' Ryder mumbles in reply. He immediately regrets it when he realises that she heard.

'I guess I already knew that,' she admits.

'And yet you still overreacted?'

She seems to think for a moment, as if deliberating whether to say something. 'If I'm being honest, the fact that Jake's a guy makes me a little more uncomfortable. I'm ok with you being in the relationship, it's just the physical aspect of it. I think it would be a bit less terrible if it was a girl.'

Ryder doesn't think he likes brutal honesty. 'It doesn't work like that, Mom. It's all or nothing. Either you're accepting or you're not.' She doesn't say anything in reply. 'Is that why you're sending me to Dalton? Because you secretly want to keep me and Jake apart?'

'No, no, definitely not.' She takes a couple of moments before she starts to explain. 'When you left the other day, you left your computer open. And I saw all the stuff those kids wrote on your Facebook. I don't want to stand by while you get hurt. Because I know that fight wasn't the only bullying that's happened at school.'

'That doesn't mean you need to send me away though.' Ryder feels like he's almost begging.

'Dalton has a strict policy against bullying. You'll be safe there, Ryder. I need you to be safe.'

'I can't just leave Jake behind to deal with it on his own.'

'You're my priority here, Ryder. You're my son, not Jake.'

'No, I can't go, Mom. McKinley's where I belong. The New Directions is where I belong.'

'Dalton has a glee club. I'm sure you can join there.'

'They got busted for a drugs scandal.' It feels like a small victory.

'Oh.' She seems to think for a moment. 'Well, I'm sure there are plenty of other clubs you can join.'

Ryder decides to change tactics, hoping he'll have more luck. 'I can't just run away, Mom. I'm gonna be dealing with this my whole life; I have to get used to it.' He pauses to let that sink in. 'Besides, it's getting better now that the teachers are taking notice.'

'But Dalton's such a good school.' She's pleading now.

'The New Directions are my family.' But so is he.

'I'll think about it,' she concedes. 'But I'm not making any promises.'

Xxx

Two days later, it's Regionals. Ryder slips into the choir room as everyone's preparing. 'Did you guys still need me?' He asks Mr Schue.

Jake's by his side in an instant. 'Your parents are letting you compete?'

'Yea, they realised I was reacting out of hurt. So they decided I'd been grounded long enough.'

'That's great.' Everyone seems to agree with the sentiment. But Ryder can still see sadness in Jake's eyes.

'I haven't told you the best news yet.' Jake instantly looks hopeful. 'My parents have agreed I can stay at McKinley.'

Mr Schue is clapping him on the back. 'Well, with that great news, it's time to start our show circle.'

Xxx

Throughout the wedding ceremony, Ryder keeps his fingers laced with Jake's. As Mr Schue kisses his bride, Jake leans over to him.

'Do you think that'll be us one day?'

Ryder smiles in response. 'Definitely.'

**Thanks to CG85 for listening to my troubles and giving me suggestions about this chapter and the last one.**

**There's only an epilogue left in this story now. But I can possibly do some one-shots, if you think there's anything you need to know more about (eg if you feel I didn't wrap this chapter up properly). I'm hoping to do at least one more chapter for You're the One That I Want (Ryder's dinner with Jake and Jake's mom). But I can do more if you ask.**


	18. Epilogue

Later that year, they win at Nationals. Jake and Ryder sing a duet together, even though, originally, they aren't meant to. Jake is meant to sing with Marley, but the day before the competition she comes down with laryngitis. Mr Schue makes every single girl audition alongside Jake, but eventually everyone convinces him that Ryder should be his duet partner. Because no one could fake the chemistry that they have. It helps that Ryder already knows the part inside out, having practised with Jake between whispered confessions of 'I wish I could perform this with you'. It looks like Jake has got his wish.

The performance goes amazingly and the crowd laps it up. No one seems phased that two guys are singing the romantic duet. Ryder can't help but feel quietly confident.

Even still, he isn't expecting it when the New Directions are announced as the winners. He's caught up in the excitement and euphoria, and next thing he knows, he and Jake are kissing on stage. It's deep and passionate, but it's not really a big deal. They are in Los Angeles after all, and no one really seems to care. The cheering just seems to go up a decibel or two.

Xxx

Two years later, they graduate. Ryder is standing on stage, gripping his diploma and watching Jake be handed his. Jake smiles broadly at him as he walks over to join him, squashing in next to Marley. Ryder smiles in return, leaning forward, and Jake and Ryder are kissing on stage for a second time. Ryder can hear the room fall instantly silent, the low rumble of noise disappearing and Figgins faltering over the next name. Ryder hears a cough that sounds suspiciously like 'Fag'. It's immediately silenced by a whistle though, which sounds remarkably like his father. Ryder glances over to see that his father is standing now, beginning to clap. His mother is hurrying to her feet next to him, and beside her, so is Mrs Puckerman. The newest New Directions join in the applause as well, as do a smattering of others in the audience. Mostly though, it's completely silent, and Ryder catches a few furious glares. He ducks his head, feeling embarrassed by the attention and cursing his stupidity.

Because this time, even though it's just a gentle peck, it's suddenly a huge deal. Because they're in Lima, Ohio, and the place is still full of homophobic jerks.

Ryder links his hand with Jake's, and realises he doesn't really care how everyone reacts. And he knows that Jake doesn't either. Because now, finally, they can get out of this godforsaken town. They can go anywhere they want. They can get away from the judgement; they can find a community of people who will accept them. They can do anything they want. Hell, in most places, they could get married.

Most importantly though, they can begin the rest of their lives. Together.

**And there endeth the story. OMG. It's been a journey. But I've thoroughly enjoyed it, even though it got a little stressful at times. Hope you enjoyed it too!**

**Big thanks to CG85 for helping with this final chapter. Without that help, it would have been seriously short (like 200 words), so thank you.**

**I've updated You're the One That I Want with a chapter about the dinner. I'm hoping to do at least one more, because kila asked for the walk home after they got caught by Ryder's parents. To talia, I won't be able to write your prompt – I'm pretty sure if Ryder's parents hadn't come home it would have lead to smut, and I don't write smut. Also xjustwantedjyder (who prompted a while ago), I really don't have any ideas for filling your prompt sorry. But I did write a different story with Jake as the catfisher a while ago, if you haven't seen that.**

**I'm hoping that in the near future, I'll start a new fic that'll be Blam friendship with Klaine pairing.**

**But I will totally keep writing Jyder, because I love them so much.**

**Speaking of which, Jyder Week is coming up on the 24 to 30 June, and I'm gonna be taking part. So keep an eye out for that. Also check out the tumblr for it and show them some support: jyderweek . tumblr . It would be awesome if a whole bunch of us could get involved, whether that's by creating or consuming content.**

**Thank you all so much for your support.**

**Xxx**

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